Recommendations from our dog whisperer

We met for our dog consult today, including a home visit.  Our Dog Whisperer (DW) recommended that we start with a puppy and work to socialize it with lots of kids/activity.  She said it would be much more work in the short run, but we would have a much better chance of ending up with a great dog.  With a puppy, we would have a much greater chance of shaping its environment so that it would be comfortable with our family and our busy lifestyle and home.  Also important, according to the DW, was that even if the dog grew to be large, the girls wouldn't develop fear as it would obviously start out small and gradually get bigger. 

While the DW didn't say we shouldn't adopt from a shelter, she recommended a breeder or rescue so we would know what the dog's history was-- foster shelters would be ok, provided that the puppy spent 8 weeks with its mom, and then was fostered.  Apparently sheltering is very stressful to puppies and can change their behavior in the long run.  Puppies that traveled in planes to get to us were strictly prohibited--because of the stress on the puppy and because we would not be able to pick the puppy-it would be chosen for us.

One interesting thing the DW mentioned was that if we wanted to try to find shelters with puppies, we should seek out shelters in rural areas.  In urban areas, she said, since there is a much higher percentage of spaying/neutering, the animals in shelters are more likely to have been bred from street dogs or dogs raised for fighting (i.e. pit bulls) and were not as well suited to be family pets (speaking VERY generally).  Apparently, farm dogs or their offspring are a better bet, even if sheltered and there are more of them, because of less awareness/support for spaying and neutering in rural areas. 

As for breeds, because we are on the go and Dan would like to run with a dog, she recommended the German Shorthaired Pointer and the English Springer Spaniel.  Another option, depending on the dog itself, and its temperament would be a Whippet. Other breeds which would be great with the kids but less energetic (still recommended) were the Basset Hound and the Corgi.  Also the Poodle, which we all vetoed immediately.  She also mentioned the Golden Retrievers, but they were out because of the shedding.  My dream of a Dachshund was dashed immediately, as we were told that doxies were responsible for more bites than any other breed in the US.  Terriers were also vetoed as notoriously difficult to train.

So we're on the lookout for puppies in these breeds. Starting over, but are MUCH more confident that we'll end up with a great new member of the family.

Unfortunately, the neighbor dogs weren't out today, so our DW didn't get a chance to meet them but it is clear that we're going to have to have a difficult conversation with our neighbors about socializing our new dog and theirs.  We're committed to a greeting with our dog, a trainer and their dog (provided our neighbors will work with us on this). The DW seems to think that the relationship will be better starting out with a puppy from the get-go rather than a full grown dog.  Thankfully,  all of the dogs she suggested would be unable to jump the fence and would be more easy going with the kids than a shelter dog would likely be. 

All in all, a great home visit and we are looking forward to next steps.

The dog that almost was.

So we fell in love with a dog.  And we can’t keep her.

 I guess I should start at the beginning… About a year ago, Doodle started asking for a dog.  She has a pretend vet clinic at home and wants to be an animal rescuer when she grows up.  We asked her to show us that she could take care of a dog.  Doodle read books, we surfed the internet, amassed a collection of stuffed dogs, and put up dog posters all over her bedroom.  She took care of my sister-in-law’s puppy at Easter and even picked up the poop from the puppy-- that was the turning point for us--several months after we started the discussions.  We did research.  We checked allergy tests.  We talked to dog owners.  We found a vet and a trainer.  We weren’t really interested in a puppy.  So last weekend we visited some shelters.

We fell in love with a dog.  A big dog.  A big, calm dog.  We visited the dog over the course of a day at the shelter.  We knew that we were taking a risk adopting a dog from a shelter where we might not know about any background issues, but felt strongly about it.  

At the shelter, the kids spent a few hours with the dog.  The kids pulled the dog’s tail, put their fingers in her mouth.  Took it for walks.  Jogged with it.  All was well--she behaved perfectly.  We left and came back several hours later.  The dog had clearly been trained-- she would sit and give you her paw.  

We had family members with dog experience come and look at the dog.   We talked to three employees of the shelter and the director--they said great things--plays well with other dogs, great with kids--even little ones, no signs whatsoever of aggression, very calm, quiet dog.  We slept on it. We talked to our neighbors who had dogs.  We warned them we were getting a dog.  We talked to the dog trainer.  We brought the dog home on Monday.

To make a long story short, our environment was not right for her.  Our dog had a terrible introduction to the big dog next door and they agitated each other (and that is putting it VERY mildly). Early on, it became difficult to imagine a time where our girls and their neighbor friend could go from one yard to another safely with these two dogs involved.  Because of their size, jumping the fence was a very real and very dangerous possibility.  The dogs would even “communicate” while they were both inside their respective houses.

As the dog got more familiar with us, and/or spent more time in our home, she became very excitable.  Most of her actions were play, but it was VERY rough play-- which at times ended up with Moobear standing on top of the couch and Three being body slammed into cabinets.

 In the end, Moobear was terrified, the dog was miserable and we were heartbroken.  Despite her calm (in hindsight probably depressed) demeanor at the shelter, the dog became difficult for us to handle, particularly around the kids.  Minimizing her freedom in the house, tethering with her, attachment dog parenting, didn’t seem to be working.  One might say that we did not give it enough time, but unfortunately, we have a small margin of error with the safety of the kids involved.

After quite a bit of soul searching and many, many tears, the dog went back to the shelter.  You can imagine on a personal level, after falling in love with this dog, how difficult a decision this was.    It’s no life for a dog not to be able to roam the backyard freely-- or to be locked up in a room every time people come to the house. . And let me be clear--it wasn’t the dog’s fault or her breed.  She is great-- she would be great for a family with older children in a more remote location.  We made the right decision for her and our family.  It just sucks.

We are devastated.  Many tears were shed and continue to be shed.  It is a loss for us.  Doodle, in particular, is a wreck.  She blames Moobear’s fear, even though it was a family decision.

The folks whom we consulted about dog training have agreed to work with us to do a pre-pet consultation.  We’re going to have them come out to our house and scope things out and hopefully meet the neighbor dogs. They will make recommendations for us as to breed, size and temperament and recommend sources (another shelter, rescue or puppy).  We’ve agreed as a family to go with their recommendations--as we clearly screwed it up when left to our own devices.

So please, no flaming.  We’re low enough as it is.