Personality

So the Newbie has a very strong personality. And she's different from her sisters. Strong willed, knows what she wants. Not afraid to fight for things. Likes to be in charge. What we affectionately like to call "leadership skills." For example, she loves coffee, wine and beer. At first we thought she just wanted to have what everyone else was having. Now, we know. If she sees you with a cup of something she likes, she's not shy about picking up your finger, dipping it in the liquid, and sucking the liquid off of your finger. If she likes it, and she hasn't met a beverage she doesn't like, she goes it and tries to take a big gulp. The first time it happened, I thought, once she tries the wine (dry white) she'll hate the taste and that would be the end of it. Not so! Then it was, well, she'll hate red wine. Wrong again. Then beer, we thought for SURE she would hate beer. Nope. Then coffee...well at least with the coffee maybe she had some in Ethiopia. Here are a few photos of her in action with my coffee. Now, before you get all up in arms that we are feeding our baby these things, we let her have a taste and that was it.

After the coffee it was the diaper. She's figured out, with her clothes on, how to undo the tabs on her diaper. So occasionally we'll find her with a wet diaper peeking out of one leg of her pants. We're thinking of investing in some duct tape.

On Christmas, she tried to choke herself multiple times by putting chocolate in her mouth with the wrappers on. We had to do an all-out manhunt at home for the chocolate ornament balls from Fannie May, since those seemed to be her favorite. Part of the Christmas video shows me sweeping out her mouth and trying to explain about the wrappers. Ahh, such a warm family moment caught on tape!

And then it was the outfits. I had one of my favorite holiday outfits for the Newbie to wear on Christmas. It was a hand-me-down from the older girls. I laid it out on the foot of her bed while she was taking her nap. When she woke up, I was greeted with the odor of poop, and somehow she had drooled/peed all over the outfit. Outfit number two was destroyed when she spilled her sisters' apple juice all over it. Outfit number three got drool and corn smeared all over it, but we just kept her in it. I didn't have anything festive left for her to put on, and there wasn't much time left in the day.

Then it was the water bottles. We keep the non-breakable stuff in the low drawers of the kitchen so the Newbie can play with them. Last week she managed to get both of her hands stuck in stainless steel water bottles. She clumped around crawling for a while before I figured out that she wasn't just having fun, they were stuck. A little soap and they came off--thankfully. It could have been much worse.

I could go on and on. Needless to say, it is very interesting at our house. I find myself saying the damnedest things and sweeping her mouth out all the time. Her sisters now know to do it, too. You never know what you'll find in her mouth. It's an adventure, but a fun one, too. People used to look at the older girls sitting at a restaurant and say, "I hope you get a boy." Gender has nothing to do with it. It's all personality, and we've got it in spades.

Merry Christmas Eve!

We're cooking here, and the wee ones are looking for Santa. Here's a few live action shots of our Santa tracking using NORAD. We'll be hollering when he reaches Ethiopia.

Thank you, Internet!!! Or Denise, really

So I read the comments on my last post, all two of them. Particularly, Denise's comment. I checked for teeth-- nothing. Then I thought, a little tylenol can't hurt. I also changed the white noise to soothing ocean sounds. The Newbie slept from 8:30ish p.m. until 3. A peep at 3 and back to sleep. This morning at 5:30?? Drool fest. YEAH Denise! If I could kiss you, I would. Sometimes I think in the heat of the moment, even an experienced mom loses the magic.

Please sleep!

I should have known that we were going to have a sleep issue soon, since Moo has been sleeping in her own bed in her own room (not Doodle's room) all night long for quite some time now. So it was time for the sleep bitch to mess with us again.

The Newbie has generally been a champion sleeper. Put her down, she goes right to sleep and sleeps on through the night. A few times before a milestone or with her ear infection we had rough nights, but generally, things are great. The only issue we had was the crib. She hated it and refused to sleep in it. Maybe it reminded her of her crib in the care center? All was well, until a week or so ago.

We keep having these nights where she wakes up crying and we try everything-- rocking, milk, singing, laying down next to her, bringing her in our bed. She wants to go back to sleep but can't. Even if you get her to doze, when you lower her to the bed she wakes up screaming. I've determined that it isn't the type of pajamas, the prescense or absence of white noise, whether the fan is off or on, whether she has covers on or off, the time she goes to bed, the temperature in her room, who puts her to sleep, etc. Her ears are fine, her tummy is fine, she's not hungry. She's just awake. ANd wants you to be awake with her. For HOURS and HOURS.

Dan takes a turn, then me. Two nights ago, he had her for a while, I tried for over an hour, tried to give her back, but Dan was all, "Nut uh. You have at least another hour and a half before you can hand her back. I've been up for over two hours. Good luck." I got her back to sleep for an hour and a half, gave her to Dan at 7 am and went back to sleep myself.

Last night, I had had it. From 12:45 until 2 I tried the soothing and the milk. Then I did the impossible. I let her cry it out. She cried in her room, I cried just outside the door. The first time, I lasted 3 minutes. Went in and started over. Then 5 minutes of crying. Went in, started over. Then 10 minutes. By then, she woke up Doodle, who joined her Dad in our bed. I'm still crying outside her room. Wondering if this is the right thing to do. Worried because of possible abandonment issues. Feeling like a failure since I never did this with the older girls and can't figure out how to help her. Was I stronger then, with them? More patient? More resilient?

Why couldn't she just curl in next to me and sleep? Then it stopped. I laid down on the hardwood floor outside her room. I was trapped. To move would mean the floor would creak and then she would wake up. I think I laid there for about 45 minutes. I slooowly got up. The floor creaked. She started to cry. Son of a B!

I gave up, and settled into bed. Crying again. Of lack of sleep and frustration. She quieted down after a minute. I slept. For a very few hours. I had to send Dan in to get my glasses in the am and she was up. No ill effects to be seen except she was tired. Well, sister, join the club!

I don't know what we'll do tonight. Probably try everything until we have to resort to the crying it out. Dan thinks it's fine. A different sleep solution for each girl. He thinks we were just lucky the first six months or so. We'll see. In the meantime, I need to try and stay awake.

Can I get in on that? Or, the Accidental Shower

Today, Dan is home with the girls. Moo is sleeping, Dan and Doodle are walking to her school and I've locked the Newbie in the bathroom with me so I can take a shower. As I'm rinsing my hair with my eyes shut, I hear Thump! Thump! Thump! It's the sound of the myriad of products I have perched on the edge of the tub being pushed aside, one by one. I open my eyes, trying to avoid slipping on the bottles and see the Newbie, leaning into the tub. Her Pj's are soaking wet, she leaning as far in as she can go to get the water to run down her face. Her eyes are closed but she has this satisfied grin on her face. She occasionally moves her head from side to side to be sure both cheeks are equally wet.

At that point, I strip her down and take her in the shower with me. I guess she really wanted a shower this morning!

Thankfully, by the time we needed to get out, Dan was home, so he scored me a towel and took a dripping Newbie from me. It might have gotten ugly if he wasn't home. One towel and my robe weren't enough for the flood on the bathroom floor.

Referralversary!

Today is the anniversary of when we received the referral for the Newbie. Here is a copy of the referral pic and a pic of her from Halloween. I'm amazed at home much she has grown. I also can't believe it has been a year since we saw her face for the first time. We are so blessed.

Nutty Family Conversations

Moo: Mom, I have something important to tell you, but don't worry, it's not bad news. But I hafta pee first.

Bathroom visit.

Me: What was it you need to talk to me about, Moo?

Moo: Dad needs the scissors downstairs.

*******

Doodle: Doodle reporting for duty (to help make cookies).

******

Doodle drops her sippy.

Doodle: Darn it!

Me: Where did you learn that phrase?

Doodle: At school. Kids say it.

Me: Ohh.

Moo: You can't say that, Santa is watching.

Doodle: It's better than saying the "s" word.

Me: What is the "s" word.

Doodle: Stupid.

Moo: Yeah, that's really bad.

Are you gonna eat that?

In the mornings, Doodle needs about 20 minutes to become fully conscious. We give her a warm chocolate milk, her "coffee," and let her watch a few minutes of TV until she can function. This Thursday, she was ensconced on the couch with her warm chocolate milk, a waffle cut into pieces, a fork, and a small bowl containing 2 gummy vitamins and 2 calcium gummy bears. The Newbie was on the floor with her cheerios and banana also enjoying a little Sponge Bob. Dan was in the shower, and I took two minutes to grab Doodle's clothes from upstairs. When I came back down, Doodle asks,"Mom, where are the gummy bears?" While she was spaced out, the Newbie had eaten the gummy bears, 1/2 of the waffle and stuck the syrupy spoon in her hair like a pic. Oh, and she had finished her 1/2 of banana and the cheerios. Doodle saw nothing, heard nothing, did nothing. By the time I got the camera, the Newbie had removed the fork and the moment was over.

Now that the Newbie is walking, nothing is safe. There is usually a trail of food in her wake.

P.S. Dan says it was fine she ate the vitamins. I was freaked, but it is nice to have a doctor in the house.

Searching for Santa

This year, as I prepare for the holidays, I've been searching for ornaments and decorations that will reflect our family. I know we're never going to find something perfect, like a figurine of carolers with a white mom, dad and two sisters, and one black baby, but I thought I would at least find a few black santas, angels, etc. to mix in with our current eccletic mix. Despite having ornaments from all over the world, the ornaments we own with people on them show mostly white folks.

I had always assumed that such ornaments and decorations were out there, but I just didn't know the right store to find them. Or, like many things, I never really paid attention. For example, I never perused hair care products for black women or truly studied them as I have now, before we adopted the Newbie. Before we adopted her, I did research on where to find hair salons, cards with representations of multicultural families, books, etc. and always found, with relative ease, what I was looking for.

Two weekends ago, I went to Frankenmuth, Michigan with my family. They have this totally insane holiday store there. I scored two black santas, three black angels, two black ballerinas, a ball ornament with a scene from Africa, and a ball ornament with a holiday greeting in Amharic. They even had some other choices, but they didn't fit with our family--for example, a black girl playing basketball(maybe in the future with the Newbie, but we're really short people).

I was talking with my stepmom about them and she got really excited,"Ohhh, a black santa? Can you tell me where you found him?" Apparently, these things are pretty hard to find! I was really thrilled with the Amharic ornament, but I assumed that a black santa was not particularly elusive. I did some google-ing and found a few things. Some ornaments on ebay, two or three websites. The selections weren't great, and often different stores carried the same products.

In my work, I struggle sometimes about how to explain white privilege. This is a perfect example. I never had to worry about whether I could find holiday decorations that looked like me! My parents could always buy me an ornament that looked like me doing something I liked to do--like playing tennis. White privilege is never having to search for a black santa, to take for granted that Santa looks like you. To never wonder why Santa at the mall is yet another white man. To watch a holiday movie where Santa visits a kid that could be me.

I'm grateful to have found what I needed, but am disappointed there isn't more.

ETA: For those of you who don't know me IRL, my step mom is black-- our exchange makes more sense if you know that.

Teasing, two differing philosophies

So Doodle last night at "dark dinner"(dinner at home with candles)announced that she had been teased at school that day. She wasn't too upset about it. I asked, "What do you mean, teasing?" She said that two boys called her a crybaby.

These two boys at once repel and fascinate her. They are "bad" and "get in trouble" all the time. Her locker is in between their lockers so she is witness to many altercations. Doodle looks down upon their behavior but you can tell she is intrigued by their wild sides. Anyway, the teasing. She told me that she told a teacher and they got in trouble.

I told her that sometimes when I was teased, I ignored the teasers. I had Dan role play as the person teasing me, and I turned to the girls and started talking like he wasn't even there. By the time I said, "Do you hear something, girls? I feel like I hear some silly talk in the background," the girls had dissolved into giggles.

Later that night, Doodle was two spaces shy of winning Candy land when she drew a card that sent her back to the beginning. Sobs ensued. Dan used the opportunity to tell Doodle that she was, in fact, a bit of a crybaby and that he would help her work on being less cry babyish.

On the one hand, I was shocked. On the other I was interested. I wondered why on earth I gave Doodle the same advice that was neither effective nor helpful when I was teased as a girl. By the same token, I wasn't convinced Dan's method was more effective than mine.

A few days later, Doodle told me that my strategy worked. A boy tried to "shoot" her with an imaginary gun in a game she wasn't participating in. She said she ignored him and he followed her for a while, then gave up.

I don't know how I feel about all of this. I'm upset but not surprised she is being teased. She's going to be a magnet for teasing, with her rule following, slightly superior attitude. I'm happy that she doesn't seem all that bothered by it. I'm glad that my method is working, but wonder if Dan's crybaby remediation plan might be good for her. Will being honest hurt her self esteem?

I don't know if we will ever know the "right" way to deal with this. It can't hurt to have two differing perspectives. I'll keep you posted. The joys of kindergarten!

Happy Halloween!

As you can see, we had a great Halloween. Moo decided at the last minute that her Darth Vader costume (3rd year in a row) was too itchy, so she decided to be Princess Aurora. The Newbie loved trick or treating. She mostly stayed in the stroller, but really enjoyed the goldfish crackers she scored. It's been a busy Halloween season, we've celebrated with the Hogans, done Halloween symphony with Nama, Pumpkin patch with Grandma Grace and Auntie Lorri, etc.

Yesterday ended with sour tummys, but hard to say if that was too much Halloween candy or the H1N1 shots the girls had in the morning. All was well this morning, and we're pooped.
ETA: Doodle is not striking a pose there, she's desperately trying to get the last powder from a pixy stik. She wouldn't smile for me.

Cookies

Me: Doodle, that's a great looking cookie!"
Doodle: It's Uncle Aaron.
Me: Really?
Doodle: Yes.(Annoyed)Don't you see the glasses?
Me: Oh yeah, now I see it.
Doodle: The other one is his friend. See? They are together.

Family Pictures

Ok, so I've been out of pocket for a while. A personal health issue- not a big deal, Dan being on service, work, kids, many dr appts (checkups and more cross off the list adoption checkups), saying goodbye to Mary Poppins, who has a chance to chase her dream and welcoming Hoosier Girl....all this to say life happened and I am back.

Here's a slideshow from our most recent family photo shoot--two weeks ago. Our first family photo shoot since the airport when we brought the Newbie home. Moo was not in the mood and she's usually our star model, but we did manage to get some awesome pouty shots. I love the shots at the end with all of the girls.
All in all, I think they turned out great. I hope I can get the slideshow to work better this time. I'm putting it in a link and not in the blog itself. Thanks again to Peggy and Frank for working with us.

Here's the slideshow.

Coming Home Slideshow

We have family friends who are photographers. Well, Frank is the photographer and Peggy, his wife, generally makes us look good. Peggy and Frank were at our wedding, they came to the hospital and took the first photos of Moo, they took toddler photos of Doodle and Moo, they take our family photos, etc. So it was only natural to have Frank come to the airport when we came home with the Newbie. We wanted someone to capture the moment of our girls meeting each other for the first time without us worrying about missing the moment or being self conscious. We took some posed shots, but most were in a photo-journalistic style, which is a part of Frank's background. Peggy put some of those photos to music for us. Go ahead and take a look. Seeing us become a family at last makes me tear up. It starts with our girls waiting and waiting.......

ETA: I removed the slideshow since everything got a bit wonky. Here's a link to it. It works better than putting it directly into the blog.

She's Mobile

The Newbie started crawling on August 31st, but things have been busy here. I'll post more later, but this is a short video of her in action.

Happy New Year! Melkam Addis Amet!

Friday, September 11th was the Ethiopian New Year, but we celebrated today (Sunday). I made Alicha Sega Wot (mild beef stew), Misir Wot (yellow lentil stew), Kikel Gommen (cabbage, carrots and potatoes) and Chicken Tibs (fried chicken without breading, except I made it without the onion and peppers for the kids). We used Injera that we brought back from our trip to Minnesota and kept in the freezer.

A quick note, my Kikel Gommen looks purple because we had red cabbage from our farm share. And, yes, I know the beef stew looks like a pile of poop, but I tried and it tastes delicious even though it looks like crap. Ditto for the lentils, except think breastfed baby poop. Hey, I know you are all thinking it, so why not put it out there? Despite the fact that I desperately need a food stylist, I'm proud of the meal. It tasted pretty good and reasonably authentic. My kids and Dan loved it.

If you want to learn more about Ethiopian New Year, click here. Chatty Cathy also has a good link on her blog. I tried to use Cathy's link to no avail.

Oh, and we usually don't have such a loud tablecloth on the table. Nama was here and told the girls it is never too early for Halloween (her favorite holiday). We had to start decorating today because the girl were sooo excited. Thanks, Nama!

In other news, the Newbie started crawling. I also have lots of photos to post-- Uncle A came to visit and we had a great visit with the cousins (until we had to kick them out to go to Disney on Ice, that is a story for another day--Sorry guys, blame Nama!).

Go Irish!

The Newbie's first ND Game (on TV, because taking three kids to the ND game would be a disaster).

Bike Shorts

It started with the lone purchase of a flowered pair for gymnastics last summer. They were perfect--fitted but not too tight, no pockets and they were acceptable per the gymnastics dress code. Then she began to wear them every day. Then it was fall, phew! At the beginning of this summer, I bought a few more pairs because really, who wants to do that much laundry? Suddenly, that was all she would wear. We have them with monkeys, ladybugs, and flowers. We have solid colors and polka dot. We have a few extra long pairs with rhinestone hearts on them. I thought, ok, so I'll buy the matching shirts. It won't be so bad. Except that she refuses to wear the matching shorts and shirts combos. The photo above is one of the more acceptable outfits. Most of the time she looks like some elf who escaped from a whacked out biking race.

The irony is that she can't even ride her bike without training wheels yet.

I didn't care too much at first, since she was going to preschool. But now, it's kindergarten, and I'm afraid she will be made fun of. It's bad enough that she packs the oddest lunch known to man and is a teacher's pet who follows all the rules. Now this? Before I know it, she's going to be that girl--the weird one who eats the paste.

I blame myself, really. I have a fondness for 70's and 80's tunes. I'll bet if you listen to certain Madonna tunes backwards they tell you to buy bike shorts in neon colors, lace gloves, and those jelly bracelets. Truly, even clothes a la Linda Evans in Dynasty would be better.

In the meantime, we've negotiated that she will wear a skirt for picture day. If anyone has any ideas on how I can break this bike shorts habit, I'm all ears. In the meantime, it's all 80's all the time here.

Double Ear Infection? What Double Ear Infection?

So the Newbie had a cold a while back. It cleared up. Then we had two nights of fussy followed by very slight ear pulling. I took her into the ped after giving her a bit of Tylenol yesterday, and she was super happy. The nurse was all, "So THIS is your sick kid?" She was giving me a bit of the overreacting parent bit. I told the nurse she should see the Newbie at full strength!

Sure enough, Dr. L looked in her ears and the Newbie had a double ear infection that was spreading to her eyes. The Newbie was really sad looking this morning, with her goopy eyes, but she was smiling. After a couple of doses of antibiotic, she's starting to drain. The mucus bothered her a bit and Dan tells me she had a small gag/barf today. But still, she is the happiest baby ever. Here she is just a few minutes ago after some yogurt.

Being Good to Yourself/Accepting Your Body

I had a revelation after my maternity leave with the Newbie. I ate whatever I wanted, when I wanted. Seriously. Lots of mac and cheese. Pizza. For Breakfast. Blue cheese on cranberry walnut bread (if you have not tried this you must. I prefer Blue Castello which is a brie-like blue cheese on Whole Foods' Cranberry Walnut Bread). Take-out Chinese food.

I abandoned my workout schedule and just played with my kids. I got a pretty good amount of sleep. And guess what happened? I lost weight. I don't know how much, since I never weigh myself. But my work clothes were looser. And I didn't have any headaches--not one migraine or tension headache, not even a sinus headache.

It caused me to wonder about what I was doing at work that was counter-productive. Some things were obvious. My body needs to eat between 4:30 and 5:30-- waiting until 7:30 for dinner doesn't work--I eat too many unhealthy snacks. The other parts I couldn't quite pin down. I think in a nutshell, I was being good to myself. Taking care of my physical needs. Eating when hungry, running around with my kids, not being stressed.

So am I doing anything differently? I'm packing a lunch and packing healthy snacks. I'm making sure I get enough sleep. I'm back to my workout routine. I'm starting a yoga class next week. I'm trying to be more active on the weekends in real life, not by planned exercise. All in all, I've been doing some thinking about healthy bodies and body image.

Two articles really hit home. The first is about reducing cancer risk through exercise. Click here to go to the article. It's pretty convincing and a nice reminder that exercising doesn't just help firm up your body, it has other, really great benefits. All the more reason to start my routine again. I needed this reminder since I was getting bored with my workout routine.

I loved the second article/blog post. Click here to go the post. The post is from a mom talking to her daughter about body image. Her approach made sense-- if you eat right and exercise, whatever size your body is, is the right size for you. For some people, that is a little bit small and for others a little bit big. This is in tune with other things I have read. It is better to be fit and a little fat than skinny and not exercise. I don't totally agree with her about demystifying the "fat" label, but I think her perspective makes a whole lot of sense. I'm always trying to find ways to talk to my girls in healthy ways about themselves without introducing my own past issues.

I think pictures like this help. Major fashion magazines showing what real women look like. I know there was a big uproar that this model really isn't plus size and I hear that, but I like this trend. Airbrushing helps none of us. I liked that the model's belly looks more like mine that I could have ever imagined--although mine of course is bigger.

I'm pretty comfortable with how I look now, and I'm nowhere near thin. I would like to be firmer in some places, so I'm trying some different exercises and trying to eat healthier (although we eat pretty well with our farm share of fruits and veg, there is always room for improvement). I really don't like the stretched out skin and belly pooch from my surgeries and pregnancy, but not enough yet to do anything drastic about it. Some days I would like to be thinner, particularly for health reasons, but overall, I'm pretty ok with myself. I have a body that is well used--it has lots of battle scars--stretch marks and surgery--but it's fed two kids, incubated two to full term and two others to a lesser extent, it has carried plenty of girls in a sling and on its shoulders. It has danced and skipped and run and hefted kids and it has been a source of comfort. I'm confident for at least a couple of months in 1992 and 1993 it was a source of lust for teenage boys. My body is not the prettiest, but it is pretty strong and it is mine. This is what I want to impress upon my girls. Healthy doesn't always mean perfect and perfect doesn't always mean thin.

Kindergarten, Day 2

This morning, all the other parents waited in line with their kids before school. I asked Doodle if she wanted me to stay or go. "You can go, mom!"

Doodle was very excited about her first day--they had an assembly where the teachers told them the rules. She LOVED it. Today, she came come with two rewards for following the rules. She is so going to be the kid the teacher leaves in charge when she leaves the room. Like mother, like daughter.

Today was also the first day with a lunch. She wanted: white rice with a bit of salt on it, an organic fruit leather, apples with caramel dip, naan and chocolate covered sunflower seeds. I packed all of these items, except for the naan bread. I wasn't on board with that many carbs in one meal. I'm pretty sure her weird food tastes are going to land her stuffed in a locker sometime, but the kid needs to eat. We got a note home today that we need to pack a fruit or veggie snack in addition to lunch. I was banking on the granola bar counting as a healthy snack, but alas, the teacher has other ideas. We made a quick trip to the store for carrots, celery, caramel dip, corn, and apples, which is the sum total of the fruits and veggies she will eat. It's going to be interesting.


In other news, the Moo totally requested pierogies at the store today. Glad to see at least one of my girls are in touch with her Polish heritage. Moo's been the girl who loves sausage, but this was a nice development.

First Day of Kindergarten!

Here's the Doodle on her first day of kindergarten. She was so happy to go--asked me not to call her Doodle and got in line with a little wave. I got teary eyed, even though I didn't think I would. It was the best transition that I could have hoped for. I'm so excited for her. See, I met my best friend in kindergarten. I can only hope she meets someone today who might be her best friend for life.

The morning was a bit of a struggle. I had to fight so that she would not wear a pair of bike shorts to school. They are her current favorite fashion item right now. I can only imagine if we are having wardrobe issues in kindergarten what it will be like when she starts junior high! She can wear whatever she wants tomorrow, I just wanted a halfway decent outfit for the first day.

I'll report in when I pick her up.

My Hero

Friday, while I'm at work, the phone rings.

"Hi Mommy. My tooth came out!"

"Great, Honey!"

"Mom, will the Tooth Fairy come if my tooth is in the sink?"

"She sure will. She knows where to find your tooth. What happened?"

"I was brushing my teeth and then it came out and went down the drain."

Dan comes on the phone, "I was changing the Newbie and I heard sobbing and screaming upstairs. It sounded so bad, I brought the Newbie upstairs nude, and there was Doodle sobbing that her tooth went down the sink. Then the Newbie peed all over the floor. I'm taking the sink apart now."

Me, "Isn't it time for preschool?"

Dan, "I already called them. Ms. Lucy laughed at me. They know we're going to be late."

Me, "Ok, good. So all is well then. I'll get some gold coins on my way home. Love you!"

By the time I got home, the tooth was found and the sink was in working order. Truly, what more could I ask for in a husband?

Miscellaneous

1. I have finally changed the banner at the top of the blog. Yes, we now have three daughters, not two. Happy, Dan? Somehow Dan and I have changed roles and he's getting to be the anal retentive detail oriented one.

2. If you have tried to call us IRL, our answering machine is disconnected. The Newbie has mastered an Army crawl type thing and is drawn to danger. She pulled the cord for the answering machine out of the wall and I haven't found a new spot for it yet.

3. The Newbie has her first cold and seems to be quite miffed that there is snot coming out of her nose. Not so much upset by the cold, but really pissed off about the snot.

4. I jinxed myself by even mentioning the older girls slept in their own beds. Last night was a free for all with cranky snotty girl, musical beds with Doodle and scared Moo, who was delighted to sleep with snotty girl. I predict at least 1 more snotty girl by the weekend.

Now back to our regular programming. ETA: oh, wait, this is our regular programming!

An Acutal Conversation With My Mom- Warning--Embarassing (to me) and Graphic

Truly, there is no reason for this kind of talk. My mom called me at work today.

Mom (My mom, Stacey's mom): "So what's new?"
Me (Stacey): "The usual, I guess. One new thing is that the older girls have slept in their own beds for the past few nights."
Mom: "That's good. Now, you and Dan can have more s*x. "
Me: "Mom!"
Mom: "S*x is important in a marriage, you know."
Me: "Mom! We still have a baby in a crib in our bedroom!"
Mom: "Well, are you afraid you are too loud?"
Me: "We're not having this conversation."
Mom: "You must be VERY loud."
Me: " We. Are. NOT. Having this conversation. LaLaLa! I can't hear you."

Wiener?

We're in the bathroom and I'm doing showers and baths one after another. The Newbie's in her little bath chair thingy and I'm letting the Doodle wash her with the bath poofy. I hear, "I'm washing your arm, your belly and now I'm going to wash your wiener!" Your wiener?????

"Doodle, where's her wiener? "Mom, it's here," gesturing to the Newbie's private parts. "Ummm, Doodle? Do you know what a wiener is?" "No." "It's a funny name for a hot dog." "Oh." "Sometimes, Doodle, people use that term to refer to a p*nis. Does the Newbie have a p*nis?" "Nope."
"By the way, who taught you that girls' private parts are called wieners?" "My friend, K."

So, S, K's mom, you have some 'splaining to do.

One Year Check-up!

Here's the Newbie at her one year check-up with Dr. L, destroying her clipboard. While I snapped the usual pic, I forgot to include one with Dr. L. Next time! The Newbie is posting some impressive numbers: 19 lbs 12 oz for weight and 27 5/8 inches in height. This puts her at just under the 25% for weight and 10% for height. (Note to prospective adoptive parents: If you meet birth family, check out their height. Dr. L asked us how tall her birth mother was, and we had no idea. We ended up estimating with a photo we took--just one more thing I wish I would have paid attention to.)

What makes this so impressive is that she gained 2 lbs 4 oz and grew 1/4 of an inch from her last visit 4 weeks ago. Her head increased to between the 25-45%. Go brain!

The Newbie's gained 50% of her original body weight since we picked her up in April. She weighed just over 13 pounds when we left Ethiopia--what a difference 3 months makes! She was right around the 3rd percentile in some areas and barely on the chart in others when we picked her up. She's doing so well now that we can transition her to regular milk on the regular schedule.

After 4 more shots this visit, and a few more at 14 months, we will be on the regular vaccination schedule by her 15 month appointment. Yea! She is a trouper with the shots and didn't really cry this time. We opted to catch her up fairly quickly since she has two sisters who bring home all sorts of crud and we live in an area where a fair amount of parents choose not to vaccinate. Don't judge, please. Dan is an internal medicine doc, and we are pro-vaccination for obvious reasons.

All in all, a great visit. She's very mildly delayed in gross motor, but is making strides. Her OT opted not to increase the frequency of her visits because she is progressing so well. We'll see what Developmental therapy says later this month.

Lately the Newbie has become a wiggle worm. She won't sit still and barely tolerates cuddling. She wants so badly to be on the move, and I think any day now she's going to start crawling.

Her "tricks" now are that she waves bye-bye, plays peekaboo and smacks her head with her hand in frustration (thanks Dan, for teaching her that one!). She's still a fan of the raspberries and throwing things on the floor. Look! Gravity still works!

On the dental front, she had her first dentist appointment this week and all is well. Enamel looks good and she has an appropriate number of teeth for her age. The dentist seemed unconcerned that most of the teeth came in the last 4 weeks. She's still drooling, so I think more teeth are on the way.

I am so amazed at her resiliency and how much progress she has made in the short time she's been home. I worried about so many things before she came home and she has exceeded my expectations. We are so lucky to have her as a daughter!

BU '09!

First of all, let me apologize for being a bad blogger. We were super busy and then took a week to go on a beachy vacay. Photos of said beachy vacay to come.

This weekend, a group of families who blog about their Ethiopian adoption journeys are going to descend upon a city very, very near us, yours truly included. There will be pizza and beachy goodness and dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant. To say that I am excited is an understatement.

See, these are my people. I have lurked and lurked on their blogs. I've corresponded with them on forums on yahoo groups. Occasionally, I commented. I laughed with them and I cried with them. They answered my dumb questions and cheered when we received our referral. And now I get to stalk them meet them in person. It's so bad that I probably would recognize them on the street. In fact, I was talking with someone and they mentioned a friend of a friend who had adopted from Ethiopia. Said family lives in my city. Friend mentioned the name of the baby. I was all, OMG, D and S? And the friend said, yes, do you know them? Then I blushed and had to admit that I only "knew" them from the computer.

So if you can think of a non-creepy way I can introduce myself, let me know. 'Cause I'm thinking that, "Hi, I love your blog! I loved when you posted about x!" is going to get me labeled as a weirdo. Since only my best friends, one of my brother-in-laws, and a few others read this blog, I'm not going to be surrounded by blog groupies. I'm just going to be the anxious looking woman clutching a super cute baby.

Warning: Gold Bikini=Choking Hazard

So yesterday, the girls were playing with the super amazing polly pocket sets their Uncle Aaron bought them. Except that they aren't Polly-- they are Princess Leia and Queen Amidala dolls with the smallest little outfits you can imagine. The sets were complete with little framed pictures of Han Solo and Anakin Skywalker--the detail was amazing. I warned the girls that they had left some pieces too near their baby sister. The newbie and I went downstairs to workout and I noticed her chewing quite a bit and drooling. She gagged, so I did the finger sweep and sure enough there was a teeny tiny outfit piece in her mouth. For our family, though, it couldn't just be any old piece....nooo, it was the top to Princess Leia's gold bikini. Yes, that's right, my daughter could have choked on the smallest gold bikini top ever.

The bikini top was ruined, and the grownups girls were punished with no tv for two whole days.

Then, today, Dan brings the newbie up from the basement. She kept him company while he took a shower in the downstairs bathroom. I take her and notice that she is chewing something. I do the mouth sweep, and sure enough it is one of those little dry cleaning tags. Nice work Dad! Of course, the Doodle told Dan that he couldn't watch tv for two days, either.

She's not even mobile yet, so I hesitate to think about what she'll find next.

Newbie Gets Served - Readoption

In our state for the re-adoption you have a court date with an appearance, then your adoption agency social worker files a report and THEN the judge makes a final determination six weeks later (and no court appearance). Last Monday was our first court date. Part of the excitement was that since the Newbie was the defendant, she needed to be served papers by the Deputy Sheriff. Everyone at court was super nice and all three girls received Sheriff's badges.

These photos are from court, the Newbie being served, etc. Since there are no photos allowed in the court, no pictures from the courtroom. We got lucky, though and met our judge in the hallway. The woman with the glasses in the picture with the Newbie and I is the judge.

Hair for All Three Girls

I took Doodle today to get her second hair cut. If this doesn't stop the sucking, I don't know what will. Then, I decided to do my second hair attempt on the Newbie. This time, things worked a lot better, not perfect, but at least she didn't cry the whole time. I'll be posting more about hair issues later- more the pressure than the actual hair doing.

While I was doing the Newbie's hair, the Moo was a great distraction. Then she wanted her hair done, too. Not too bad if I do say so myself.

She's doing it again aka the power struggle

Apparently, the hair cut wasn't short enough. Last night and this morning Doodle had wet hair. I wanted to lose it. She had a calm naughty chair this morning. I bitched about it the whole way to work (among other frustrating things).

She has a 10 a.m. appt tomorrow for a shorter 'do. This is going to be the most expensive haircut ever-- at least $50 for two cuts, not including tip, just to stick to my guns. But if it works, I don't care. Really. I can't stand those crispy ends. Blech.

Before and After- not the best pictures, but you get the idea

Surprisingly, Mary Poppins reported no problems with the haircut. Doodle was apparently pleasant the whole time. Who would have thought? I actually like the short 'do better.

Bye Bye Hair

So there are three bad habits of the Doodle's that I would love to change before she goes to kindergarten and becomes an outcast. 1) Picking her nose and eating it. She's started to slow down on this one, but even the naughty chair hasn't dissuaded her. Not even my lecture about germs. 2) Crying at the drop of a hat. Short of a personality transplant, not much I can do about this one. She cries when she gets a paper cut, when someone hurts her feelings, when she feels like it. 3) Putting her hair in her mouth and sucking on it. We had a deal. She could keep her hair long if she didn't put it it in her mouth. This worked for a while, but she is back to her old tricks. After four or five or, I don't know, 3700 warnings, I have to follow through. Today she is getting her hair cut short enough that she can't fit it into her mouth. Of course this is the week the girls' hair person is going to Vegas. I feel like the consequence has to happen close to the behaviour, so I took the last two appointments she had (Moo's getting a trim). Unfortunately, they were in the afternoon so Mary Poppins is going to witness the meltdown. Seriously, Doodle cried last time when they washed her hair. Who doesn't like getting their hair washed???

Doodle would love it if I took her back to the kids hair cutting place where they don't wash hair and they sprinkle "fairy dust" in their hair that takes weeks to get out. However, those folks (and I've tried two places and different hairstylists) don't know how to cut curly hair like Moo's and she ends up with some weird poodle like 'do in the back.

So we are going to our lovely Deena who will hopefully work some magic today. I'll post before and after photos as soon as I can.

By the way, this hair cutting is driving my mother CRAZY! She can't get over the fact that I would let Doodle have an inferior haircut. She thinks Doodle's hair looks MUCH better long. She even suggested I put pepper in Doodle's hair to discourage the sucking. I just can't get that worked up about it--and to me, breaking the habit is superior to the style. I'd rather have clean not as cute hair, than hair that looks better but is crispy on the ends from spit and other grossness.

This is not a surprise since I delegate all hair issues to my hair guy, Duc (pronounced Duke, not Duck). He does what he wants. Seriously. Free reign with color and cut. I trust him. Some cuts I like better than others, but all look good and are technically great. I figure I don't tell a mechanic what is wrong with my car, why tell Duc how to do my hair? It's a relief not to have to worry about it. It's not that I don't care...I do. I am vain enough to cover my greys and go to an expensive guy who know what he is doing. I just don't care about length or style too much. I also think that even if you find a style you like, you should change it up from time to time.

If only my mother and Doodle would agree with me.

So there, my treatise on hair, part one.

Ahoy Mateys and Princesses!

This year was our first year for a kids' birthday party. The girls wanted a princess party but since there aren't many girls in their classes, we had a pirate and princess theme. Even though Moo agreed to the combined party, 4 days before the party she had a total meltdown and said she wanted her own party. She got over it pretty quickly. Ironically, due to illness, vacations and morning meltdowns, only one boy made it to the party after all. I'm only including a few photos, because I don't like posting other kids photos without parent permission.

We had Mary Poppins there to help and most of the moms stayed. I hope they stayed because they were having fun, and not because we looked like complete incompetent idiots. I really wanted to offer them alcohol, but worried that it would be over the top at 11:30 a.m.

The one thing that was a big hit was that I filled the sandbox and the defunct baby pool with sand and "treasures" (aka plastic crap). The kids loved it and spent most of their time digging for jewels, gold coins, etc.

I was pressured to give out my cake secret, so I'll share it here. On ebay there are lots of folks who can create edible images. I think most of them are on very thin rice paper. They will customize and ship the image to you. It is really easy to slap the image on a cake, or have your local costco do it for you. This is how last year I was able to secure a cake with both Darth Vader and Princess Leia on it. This is not a combination found in nature, so this nice woman on ebay really helped me out.

Oh, and the other thing that worked out nicely was to tell our guests, "no gifts, please." We told the girls they could pick out something they really wanted for their birthday and that mom and dad would buy it for them, rather than getting lots of smaller gifts. We were going to ask for donations of books for Ethiopia Reads in lieu of gifts, but the girls weren't really old enough to understand that concept. Next year, I think.

I was so tired after the party, I took a nap. The girls were on a sugar high, but I was wiped out. I think these parties may be an every-other year phenomenon. Between the planning and my nerves (lots of people didn't rsvp until the last minute) this was a stressful event.

Happy Birthday America!

We had a great, busy Fourth of July Weekend. I treasure these pictures because after being excited that I bought matchy-matchy 4th of July dresses, the morning of Doodle refused to wear hers. I got her to take a few photos, then she changed into the second of the five outfits she would wear that day. Note also the Darth Vader trick-or-treat bucket MooBear insisted on bringing to our local parade to catch candy.

Check out the slide show for pictures from Buddy's visit and his dip in the pool, MooBear and Buddy sharing crab meat poolside, pictures from the Ethiopian soccer tournament in Chicago, our visit with our friends from Minnesota, and 4th of July and some random shots of daily life (chilling on the couch in the morning, coloring, etc.).

She Wants That for Her Birthday?????

I just ordered a product from an infomercial. I spent the low, low price of $19.99 plus shipping and handling and got a free sonic toothbrush. I did it under duress. See, as the girls grow up, they are starting to watch shows with commercials in them. Sometimes, I fast forward through the commercials. However, sometimes Dan and I just want to watch the news or Meet the Press without interruption, so we set them up with their DVR'd shows on the other TV. The result? The main thing that Doodle wants for her birthday other than a scooter, is a Touch and Brush.

It makes a bit of sense. She and the MooBear have difficulty squeezing the last bits of toothpaste out of their SpongeBob and Fairies toothpaste. Do I really think it will work as advertised, dispensing toothpast with vacuum power with a gentle touch? Will it eliminate the sticky mess of toothpaste in their bathroom? No, but this is a life lesson and a birthday wish all in one. If it works, great. If it doesn't, it's a lesson for the Doodle in infomercials. Either way, it's going to be the gift she opens with delight, squealing when she realizes I listened and remembered.

What's next you ask? My SIL is threatening to get her the Sham-wow for her birthday. Hey, I'm open to other suggestions. This is a lot easier than tracking down the one toy she is interested in that is out of stock. Moobear wants a Tinkerbell tiny kitchen set (similar to a Polly Pocket Playset) that is gone everywhere and is now going for $80 on ebay. Not gonna happen.

Yes, it is weird but whatever. She comes from good hardy nerd stock, so I would expect nothing less. I'll let you know how it works.

Call Me Mama!

Since we've known the Newbie, she's been free with her "DaDas." At first I wasn't sure she was attaching meaning to the words. Now there is a clear "DaDee" going on. All the time. "Dadadadada" "Dah-dee, dah-dee, da da da."

I thought it was cute at first, when I would say "Mama" and point to myself and she would reply "DaDa." Really, I did. Some pathetic Mamaaaas helped. Mostly right before bedtime or when she wanted her milk. I wasn't entirely sure they were meant for me or the milk, truthfully.

Slowly, I became more frustrated. Dan reminded me that this happened with the older two girls. They identified Daddy first and then Mommy (Doodle) and Mama (Moobear). In fact, once they finally picked it up I heard Mama so many times I wondered why I was so frustrated. He also said that most of the time she is just babbling. His comments didn't really help.

See with this child, I know she knows me. I know I soothe her. She wants me when she is upset and prefers being with me in the sling than the stroller. But...it bugs me that all I hear is "Dada" particularly when I suspect it is willful at times. Sometimes, she says "Dada" with a smile.

It doesn't help that Dan is home with the girls on Thursdays and Fridays and I am back at work. He's a great Dad. He takes them to the beach (photo above). They go to the park. They have lots of fun. It wouldn't surprise me that the Newbie wants to associate with the fun guy. I fear this a bit, actually.

However, I know from the first two that no matter how fun Dad is, there are some things for which only Mom will do. I am the finder of all things, the person who signs them up for classes and the person who knows which underwear glow in the dark. So it REALLY bothers me that Dan is the man. I oscillate between being convinced he is her favorite, to worrying that she is only bonding with him (what on earth could they be doing during the 5 am shift that is so fun?) to thinking that I'm over thinking it.

With the newbie, I always think, hmmm, is this a developmental issue, an adoption issue, or a newbie issue? I've turned that on myself and think it is an adoption issue. See, I have claimed the newbie. She is MY daughter. She belongs in our family. Because of this and the strong attachment I feel, I think that I want to hear her claim me. To have her say, ok, you really are my mom, not just that weird woman sings disco songs and who feeds me all the time. I worry that we are not attaching even though I know in my mind that is not true.

So we had a long talk a few nights ago. Mostly me talking and lots of DaDaDas on her part. A few days go by, and just when I think all hope is lost, Mary Poppins tells me the newbie's been asking for me by name. I think Mary Poppins is trying to be nice. She has, for over eight weeks, been witness to countless "Mama?" "Dada" exchanges between the newbie and I. It's becoming a running joke. The other day Doodle patted me on the arm and said, "It's ok Mama, she loves you, too but it's funny."

But then last night, it happens. I hand her off to Dan so I can change my clothes and suddenly, the newbie is,"MaMa, MaMa, MAMA!" Ahh, finally.

So this morning, I do my usual. Point to the newbie and say her name. Point to me and say, "Mama." Point to her and point to me, waiting for her to say something. She says, "Dada." With a big smile. And then I know, for sure ,that probably most of this time, she's just been messing with me. Stinker. The teenage years are going to be rough.

Bottom 10 percent and we are overjoyed!

The Newbie went to Dr. L on Tuesday. Since our first doctor's visit upon returning home (May 4), the Newbie has gained 2.6 pounds and grown 2 inches. She's moved up from the 3rd percentile in weight and height to the 10th percentile!!! Her head circumference remains at the 25th percentile. She came home comfortably in 3-6 month clothes and she's now in the 9 month size.

I think the growth can be attributed to the 4 meals she requires a day and the 40 oz of formula she pounds in a day. She's eating less often now, but more volume. Tonight her 4th meal consisted of an entire container of baby yogurt, two cubes (ice cube size, I make some of my own baby food) one of sweet potato and one of cauliflower and 1/2 of a jar of vegetable turkey dinner, with 2 tablespoons of cereal mixed into the veggies. Oh, and about 10 puffs and she's still working on the cheerios I gave her.

It's totally weird for me to have a good eater. She's eaten everything I've put in front of her, and eats at a reasonable pace. With the other girls a meal could last for hours and they would consume about 1/4 of what the newbie eats. So far, she's avoided strawberries and peaches, but I think that is because she has trouble picking them up. She eats pureed strawberries or peach yogurt, just not little pieces of real fruit. She's been known to feed herself a full banana broken into a million tiny pieces.

We've discovered that when we skip the 4th meal, she wakes up in the middle of the night for formula, so for now, we're sticking to our schedule.

I can't believe how far the newbie has come in the last 2.5 months. She can clap her hands and wave now. She sits up unassisted. She can put weight on her legs and "stand" with help. Total weight gain since we met her is upwards of 4 pounds.

The only downside has been that with some good nutrition, her teeth are all coming in at once. She's got four on the bottom, two on the top, and Dr. L says the rest are ready to burst. That plus the 4 shots she got yesterday have made for a cranky baby, but I don't blame her.

Well, off for now, but I'll try to be better with updates.

Nightime with Newbie - or, the differences between baby #1 and baby #3

Last night was an eventful one for the newbie and I. It also illustrated the differences of parenting baby #1 vs. baby #3.

I stayed up late last night hunting for ideas and gear for the older girls' first kid birthday party (more on this another day). I went up to the Newbie's room--one of has to be close to her at night. If she wakes up and you don't get to her soon enough, you'll both be up all night. She's not the easiest to settle once she gets going.

I was met in her room by a gross poop smell. Cursing Dan for not emptying the diaper pails often enough, I moved the diaper pail from the bedroom. I wasn't about to attempt to empty it at 11 p.m. The room still smelled. I sprayed some room spray. The room still smelled. Then I realized the odor was coming from the Newbie--the dreaded nighttime poopy diaper.

If this were the Doodle, baby #1, I would have woken her up and promptly changed the diaper. With number three, I debated.....wake her up, possibly be up all night vs. leave sleeping poopy kids lie. I'm not going to lie, for a while I leaned towards letting her sleep. In the end, I couldn't deal with the smell so I went about changing her. However, I made a rookie mistake. I didn't put the new diaper on while I was struggling with the wipes. Then, I heard it first, rather than saw it or felt it...the pee. It was up in the air, nicely arched, a fully loaded pee. Her jammies were soaked. The clean diaper lying next to her was soaked. The changing pad was soaked. I was soaked. The wall might have been soaked (I couldn't tell in the dark). She laughed.

Now if this were the Doodle, I would have whisked her to the bath and promptly loaded the soiled clothes and the changing pad into the washer. I would have put a new cover on the changing pad. I might have even taken a shower myself. What did I do last night? I dried the Newbie off, wiped her down with a few baby wipes and put new pjs on. I bundled up all the soiled laundry and put it on top of the diaper pail in the hallway, changed my t-shirt, washed my hands and we both went to sleep. I have no idea where I stashed the changing pad covers, so I didn't worry about trying to locate them in the dark. All good. Newbie didn't care and she certainly didn't seem to be bothered by the late night escapade. In fact, we both had a good laugh about it. If only I was this relaxed with the first two, I might have enjoyed their first few months more.

Late June

I few notes about June. It was a busy end of the month and when I went to upload the new slide show, I had more than 80 photos! I cheated and a few are from May-- Auntie R and Uncle M's visit, the newbie's first dip in the pool. For June there were pics from picture day at gymnastics, Mary Poppins' birthday party, a trip to a local children's garden and a trip to American Girl.

I go back to work tomorrow. It is always too soon, no matter how long you take. It is interesting that despite a very competent husband and Mary Poppins that as a mom (or as the primary care parent) you think you can do it better. With the first two, since I was breastfeeding there was the additional link that I was responsible for the food. That isn't the case this time but it feels the same. I know that everyone will be fine, better than fine really, but there is something about being a mom that makes you believe that it would be better if you were there. I guess we are entitled to a little arrogance since we endure the exquisite bittersweet pain of raising children and sending them off into the world to be independent beings. To endure that unique mixture of pride and complete terror is to deserve a bit of swagger that comes with the responsibility.

Added to all of this is the work. I love my job but with the economy and all, I will be going back to a slightly unhappier place and that is part of it too. So today I am a little weepy but tomorrow I will slap on my makeup and grown-up clothes and schlep my computer to my office. I will remember how much I miss my work friends and hopefully be reminded that the work I do matters and is meaningful in some way.

And when I come home, the girls will be happy and healthy. Most likely they will have enjoyed the one-on-one time with Mary Poppins and later in the week with Dan. I will hurry home and begin the journey once again that has me finding the right balance between work and home.

Why I Stand in Line for Hours to Register Them

I'm going to have to remember these pictures when I am standing in those crazy lines and I'm waiting to sign the girls up for gymnastics. Especially the Doodle -- it's nice to see her standing so tall and proud and confident.