She likes it spicy!

This is just a quick post. We've been in the weeds for a while with various and sundry illnesses: tooth trouble, ear infections, hives, etc. More on that later.

Monday, Dan stayed home with the girls. The Newbie is in that stage where she likes to open and close everything-- cabinets, the garbage can, the recycling pail, etc. We're forever saying things like, "Get out of the trash!" "Do not play with the diaper pail!" "Do NOT put that in the toilet!" "Not for Newbies!"

Apparently, on Monday, the Newbie was digging in the trash, found a container of buffalo sauce and ate the heck out of it. I know, sooo gross. Dan found her, took a picture and emailed it to me at work (which was totally awesome). He then took the packet away and threw it in the garbage. Five minutes later, she had it again. Again, so gross. Eventually, Dan had to take the packet out to the alley garbage. We knew she loved spicy foods, but the buffalo sauce is new.

I apologize for the blurry picture. You know, heat of the moment and all of that!

Lost in Translation

Having two older sisters helps one's vocabulary I have learned, but it also tends to confuse things. At first, we could say to the Newbie, "Do you have stinky?" or "Are you stinky?" and she would point to her behind if she was indeed stinky. Sometimes she would point if we weren't even asking but needed a diaper change. Now if you ask her about the stinky, she reaches between her legs and pulls at the diaper in the crotch region like Madonna or, dare I say it, Michael Jackson?! We think she's trying to pull the diaper off, but who knows? I can't wait until she does it in public.

Also, if you ask her where her butt is, she usually points to it (Thanks, Doodle!). However, she's been walking around asking for "butt" recently. You open the fridge and she starts getting exited, "Butt Butt Butt!" She walks around agitated, trying to get your attention, "Butt, butt, butt!" We've tried to get her to point, to no avail. Best we can tell, butt refers to milk and/or food. Pork butt, anyone? Another mystery. Also fun in public.

All of this language confusion behavior seems to fit her personality. She's in a nude streaking phase, loves to take off her shoes and socks, and if she can get her clothes off she also rips her diaper off. You can tell when it is starting because she unzips her footie pajamas and walks around like Elvis first. I've taken to double onesies during the day to thwart her, but with spring approaching I'm going to need a new plan. T-shirts don't always come off, but the pants do--sometimes with a little help from her sisters.

If I'm your spokesperson, we are in trouble

Part of my work is in diversity. I work in an industry that is not very diverse and I'm fortunate to work at an employer who cares. Today, though, I was participating in a seminar about the status of diverse women in the profession. There happened to be no diverse women at the presentation. Someone asked me how I felt about the content, "As the mother of an african-american girl." Now I know the person who was asking, and wasn't personally offended, but. The but is, we often ask the one diverse person in the room to represent the viewpoint off all people of their ethnic background--i.e. the one black person in the room is asked to respond with the thoughts, feelings, vision for the entire black community--as if there is one unified view, this person is privy to it and speaks for everyone. Well, people, if we have to ask the white mother of the black baby who isn't old enough to talk in complete sentences let alone participate in a profession to represent the experience of all diverse professional women, we've got some serious problems. I know I'm in tune with the issues and I never miss an opportunity to talk, but please!

On the flip side, as a white woman of a certain socio-economic status, I have the luxury of a host of positive stereotypes attached to me. I could, before the Newbie, look at issues of race and ethnicity and racism in a more academic, detached way (at least until we told people we were adopting from Ethiopia and that is a story for another day)-- understanding, and being upset, but not feeling or being in the moment in an authentic way, if you know what I mean. I've had some experiences when I've been with my dad and stepmom (interracial marriage) that prepared me, but at some point it becomes even more personal in that hey, people, you're talking about my future child (or child who is home)here!!! I don't have that luxury to be anonymous or detached now and I don't miss it. I am grateful for these opportunities to peek behind the curtain. I'll never have the true experience of being black or ethiopian in america, but these moments help me "get it" in a visceral way. There is a difference between understanding the concept and being the target of it. The difference between reading about the experiences of other transracial families and standing in a grocery store and having comments or looks directed at you and your family. I'm grateful because each time something like this happens, I can be a more understanding and better momma to my Newbie and an example to her sisters. I'm certainly not naive about the world out there and I want to arm all of my children with an understanding of how the world, rather unfortunately, works. Racism is out there and to ignore it or pretend the world is colorblind is doing our children a disservice.