Telling the Girls

Being the anal retentive folks that we are, Dan and I agonized over how to tell the girls about the newbie (That's what I'm going to call her here. We haven't decided on a name yet, and no obvious nicknames, so until we meet her newbie it is). I remember very clearly when my Dad called from the hospital to tell me that I had a baby brother. I wanted the moment to be right. Dan and I practiced what we would say. We taught Mary Poppins how to use the camera that takes video. I made two copies of the referral picture. Here's how it went:

"Girls, we have something important to talk about. Let's have a family meeting."

"Can we watch a movie?"

"After the meeting. Sit here on the couch."

"What have we been waiting for all of these months?"

Doodle, "Christmas."

"Yes, but what else have we been waiting for?"

Doodle, "A baby."

"Yes, a baby. Your Dad and I just got word today that you have a baby sister. Here is a picture of her."

Doodle, "She looks silly."

Moo says nothing and silently lets the photo slip to the floor.

Doodle, "She has creepy eyes." Note: The baby has big beautiful eyes, not creepy in any way.

Dan," Do you have any questions?"

Moo,"No."

Doodle, " I'm going to tickle the questions out of her!" Much tickling ensues.

Moo, "Can we watch a movie?"

Not really the reaction I was hoping for. We debated about whether to save the video, but when I uploaded it to the computer, it saved only as a photo file. I guess karma took care of that decision for us!

They showed some interest in the "Big sister" t-shirts I got them, which were covered in crystals. I think it's just going to take some time to sink in.

Referral! It's a girl!

We are delighted to announce that we have accepted the referral of a 5 month old baby girl!!! I can't share pictures just yet, but believe me when I tell you she is beautiful!!

We got the call last Monday. I was at work, and earlier in the day had fired off an email to our social worker saying that I was making my peace with the wait, and asked for any information on upcoming referrals. Her answer was very vague, and I went about my business. We got the call in the late afternoon. Dan says in hindsight that he thought something might be up that day, since I had ordered two long skirts that I could wear in Ethiopia, and I wore one of them for the first time that day.

It took me a while to track Dan down, and I kept our social worker on the phone for a while babbling. Finally, we were conferenced in so that we could hear the good news at the same time. Dan got the email with the pictures before I did, so he saw her face first. The first thing he said was that she had big, beautiful eyes.

Unfortunately, we could not accept on the spot, we had to gather some additional information. It was one of the most challenging weeks of my life. Wondering what the new information would bring, worrying, waiting impatiently. For the first time, I had all my presents wrapped and bought before Christmas week--I had to do something with all of that nervous energy!

I add these details for those of you waiting for a referral. I had pictured in my head that we would get a referral and pretty much just accept. That the process would be all joy and no anxiety. I have learned that is a very difficult process to consider a referral and make what is a life-changing decision, particularly one where you really don't have a tremendous amount of information--and especially after you fall in love with a baby girl in four little pictures. I don't mean to suggest that the process was bad, just much more challenging than I had anticipated.

We were floored that the referral was for a baby girl. Totally flummoxed. We were open to either sex, and since there are generally more requests for girls, we thought for sure we would be referred a boy. I had a boy name, we had a boy nursery in mind and I had even picked out a few boyish toys (not that girls can't play with trucks, I'm all about gender neutral toys, but I picked out a few I thought a little boy might especially like). Once we got the referral, having another girl just "felt" right.

Her Ethiopian name means "you are grace" and we will keep her Ethiopian name as her middle name, so she can choose which she would like to use. We are currently trying out girl first names, and I'll keep you posted. If you have any good suggestions of princessy names that end in a let us know.

What a wonderful Christmas gift to know that we are adding another daughter to our family. Thank you to all who have journeyed with us, sharing our ups and downs and who now share our joy in accepting this referral.

The Force is Strong With This One

This is an old photo, but appropriate for the subject matter of today's post. Because today, I prove to you that this one has a mischievous streak a mile long. A few weeks ago, preschool sent a note home that for Moo's group, they should not bring commercialized characters and particularly violent commercialized characters to school for show and tell. Hmmmm.....I thought. I've seen Darth Vader in her school bag an awful lot lately. At the preschool dinner party, I heard how Moo was spreading the love for the Dark Lord. Yup, this is probably directed at us. I guess my conversations about how Darth needs to sleep during the day so he can spread evil and mayhem at night were not getting through to her.

Then yesterday, they had an unexpected play date with another little girl from preschool. Mary Poppins tells me that the girl shared that when her mother gets mad she says the F word, and when she gets really mad, she says F-it. Great. Then she tells me that the girls were tongue kissing. Sticking their tongues out and touching them together. Dan assumes that it is the influence of the little girl. I know better. We've already had an incident with the neighbor girl, where Moo instigated playing where they lifted up their shirts and she did "surgery" on the tummies to get the babies out. I thought it was clever and hoped we had a budding surgeon on her hands but we had to have a discussion about it.

"Hey girls, we need to have a talk about what happened on your play date today. I hear there was tongue kissing. Where did you learn that? I'm not mad, just curious. "

Moo, "I didn't learn it."
Doodle, "I don't know."

"Whose idea was it to tongue kiss?"

Moo (proudly), "Me!!! There is nose kissing (nose rubs), so I thought we could tongue kiss!"

"Have you seen that somewhere before?" At this point, I am desperately hoping that she hasn't seen it on TV, because frankly I can't take much more of Martha, Charlie and Lola, and other kid-friendly TV.

Moo, "No, I made it up! Isn't it great!" I look at her and she is beaming. Totally proud of herself. In this moment she thinks that she has invented this new type of kissing never before seen in the world. Not willing to burst her bubble, but needing to put some limits on it, I try this:

"So remember when we talked about germs? There are tons of germs in your mouth, and when you touch tongues, you give each other germs. We shouldn't touch tongues because we don't want to get sick."

Moo, "But we're friends."

"I know, but you still don't want germs that might make you sick. Are there any other ways we can tell people we like them?"

Doodle,"Butt kissing! Ha ha ha ha ha" She is at the point where if anyone even points at a bottom it is the most hilarious thing ever.

"Ok, so your vulva and your bottoms are private areas, and most people are not comfortable with other people touching their bottoms. How about hugs?"

Moo,"Hugs are good."

"Okay so no more tongue kissing with friends, right?"

Moo,"ok."

I really hadn't intended on having a conversation about tongue kissing until they were at least 12 years old, but here we are. I guess if Al Gore can claim he invented the internet, she can claim she invented tongue kissing. She's ahead of her time, that one. I am so screwed.

More Juice, Hillary?

I just had to share this photo. I know it's blurry, but It's one of my faves. The kid last weekend was sick as a dog, but insisted on wearing this flowered headband. It so reminds me of Hillary during Bill's first term. The kid has style, even when she's sick.

Cabin Fever!

Hmmm....is that bubble wrap you ask?
Why yes, it IS bubble wrap.

This is what happens when two girls are bored silly.

They wrap themselves in bubble wrap and create their very own mash pit, bouncing off of one another to the tune of jingle bells, which later devolves into sumo wrestling.

See...Doodle was sick last weekend. Random fever with 2 barfs. No other plague in the house, so we figured the barfs were her reflux and the fever was a virus.
This weekend, Moo had the random fever, sans barf (thank god, says the barf phobic mom). If you asked her what was wrong, she would tell you, "I'm just hot." Nothing like a four year old saying that with a straight face. Gets you every time. I wish I had the presence of mind to videotape it.
Not wanting to spread the plague, we missed two Christmas parties and breakfast with Santa and Ms. Claus. We couldn't possibly see Santa! If we gave him the cold like we did to Nama, he might not be able to deliver presents!!

For the second weekend in a row, we were cooped up in the house and stayed in our pajamas. By Sunday night, Moo was feeling better and no amount of cookie baking, present wrapping, Martha Stewart watching, my little pony playing, dvd watching would work. They were done. Stick a fork in them. Hence the bubble wrap. And, in case you were wondering, C & B has this new bubble wrap that is virtually impossible to pop, unless you use scissors, or take a flying leap off of the top of the couch and land on it. I'm just saying.

I joked you!

Doodle and Moo are starting to get the hang of jokes, emphasis on the starting. After gymnastics a few weeks ago, I asked Doodle if she did the "skin the cat," a twirling move on the bars. She said, "No Mommy, I learned a new trick called "skin the goose." Not having ever had the coordination to do gymnastics, I was confused. Forty-five minutes later, and a demonstration with a doll, a broom handle, and string, I was still perplexed. So I did what self respecting mother would do, I googled and went to YouTube. Sure enough, there was a video on you tube of a girl doing a "skin the cat." But oddly, no mention of the "skin the goose" move. Of course, now Doodle pipes up, "I joked you!" This was followed by five year old maniacal laughter. I was a little pissed, to be honest with you, that I fell for her tricks, but good to know she understands teasing and humor.

Moo prefers knock knock jokes. There are two boys in her group at preschool that she tells me are good joke tellers. I will keep their identities secret, but both of their names end in "o." I'll spare you the bad jokes and share one that kind-of makes sense.

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Weirdo.

Weirdo who?

Weir do you think you're going?

You get the picture. And this was the BEST of the many jokes. There seem to be quite a few involving werewolves and those REALLY don't make sense. Hard to tell if the difficulties lie in the delivery or the creation of the jokes. If any of you know a good werewolf punchline, please comment. I'm stumped.

Saturday Sledding

The girls' first big sledding excursion. Enjoy!

Holy Moly We're 5!

After referrals this week, we are #5 on our agency's unofficial list! Oh, and we are #2 waiting for an infant (3 families in the top five are waiting for siblings)! What this means is that we are likely in the top 10-15 families waiting for an infant referral with our agency.

I am freaking out a bit, since the previous #6 family received a referral this week. Despite the many preparations and classes and research, there is a feeling that finally, this is becoming real. We will in fact be traveling to Africa. We will be leaving the girls and traveling half-way across the globe. There truly is a flesh and blood child (or children) out there who are meant to be a part of our family. The funny thing about this process is that sometimes it feels like it is all in your head--a theoretical possibility only; a brilliant oasis that your mind has crafted, but disappears the closer to it you get.

There may be a delay here before the referral, as children are brought to the care center and undergo medical evaluations before they can be referred. I'm trying to prepare for the worst, a referral on January 3rd, the one year anniversary of our "official wait" or later but hoping for the best. It's weird to finally be in the position where "the call" could come at any time. In my mind, the call always happens while I'm at work, so we'll see if that happens.

While this will be a joyous time for us, I grieve already for the birth family who will certainly feel a deep and emotional loss. I empathize already with the newbie who will leave every sight, smell, sound, person that they know in exchange for our American technicolor life. What a bittersweet experience this is and what an incredible honor and privilege it will be to parent this child.

Flavored Vodka for Everyone!

I now record Martha Stewart for my five year old. While I realize that in some places this would amount to cruel and unusual punishment and perhaps child abuse, in my defense, she asked for it. Crafty Doodle saw a commercial for Martha's Halloween decoration show and asked me to record it for her. She LOVES Martha. We tape all of her shows now.

When I came home from work a few days ago, the girls were playing "Martha."
"Mom, we're making a Christmas craft on this show. Here's your tree, and you need to put the pipe cleaner on like this."

"No! Not like that!" She throws me a withering look worthy of Martha. "Like this. And we're taping this show, by the way." After I fashioned the glitter pipe cleaner into a star on the top of the tree, I had redeemed myself.

So last night we fired up Martha, and the featured holiday item was flavored vodka.

"Mom, can we make that? I think they would make nice Christmas gifts."

Hmmm.... we've never given vodka as a Christmas gift before. Wine, yes, Champagne, yes, Vodka, no. But I'd bet they would be crowd-pleasers....funny how she shows an innate understanding of our family even though she has no idea what vodka is. What the hell, I think.

"Sure honey, maybe next weekend."

"I want to make the one with the cranberries."