Teasing, two differing philosophies

So Doodle last night at "dark dinner"(dinner at home with candles)announced that she had been teased at school that day. She wasn't too upset about it. I asked, "What do you mean, teasing?" She said that two boys called her a crybaby.

These two boys at once repel and fascinate her. They are "bad" and "get in trouble" all the time. Her locker is in between their lockers so she is witness to many altercations. Doodle looks down upon their behavior but you can tell she is intrigued by their wild sides. Anyway, the teasing. She told me that she told a teacher and they got in trouble.

I told her that sometimes when I was teased, I ignored the teasers. I had Dan role play as the person teasing me, and I turned to the girls and started talking like he wasn't even there. By the time I said, "Do you hear something, girls? I feel like I hear some silly talk in the background," the girls had dissolved into giggles.

Later that night, Doodle was two spaces shy of winning Candy land when she drew a card that sent her back to the beginning. Sobs ensued. Dan used the opportunity to tell Doodle that she was, in fact, a bit of a crybaby and that he would help her work on being less cry babyish.

On the one hand, I was shocked. On the other I was interested. I wondered why on earth I gave Doodle the same advice that was neither effective nor helpful when I was teased as a girl. By the same token, I wasn't convinced Dan's method was more effective than mine.

A few days later, Doodle told me that my strategy worked. A boy tried to "shoot" her with an imaginary gun in a game she wasn't participating in. She said she ignored him and he followed her for a while, then gave up.

I don't know how I feel about all of this. I'm upset but not surprised she is being teased. She's going to be a magnet for teasing, with her rule following, slightly superior attitude. I'm happy that she doesn't seem all that bothered by it. I'm glad that my method is working, but wonder if Dan's crybaby remediation plan might be good for her. Will being honest hurt her self esteem?

I don't know if we will ever know the "right" way to deal with this. It can't hurt to have two differing perspectives. I'll keep you posted. The joys of kindergarten!