If I'm your spokesperson, we are in trouble

Part of my work is in diversity. I work in an industry that is not very diverse and I'm fortunate to work at an employer who cares. Today, though, I was participating in a seminar about the status of diverse women in the profession. There happened to be no diverse women at the presentation. Someone asked me how I felt about the content, "As the mother of an african-american girl." Now I know the person who was asking, and wasn't personally offended, but. The but is, we often ask the one diverse person in the room to represent the viewpoint off all people of their ethnic background--i.e. the one black person in the room is asked to respond with the thoughts, feelings, vision for the entire black community--as if there is one unified view, this person is privy to it and speaks for everyone. Well, people, if we have to ask the white mother of the black baby who isn't old enough to talk in complete sentences let alone participate in a profession to represent the experience of all diverse professional women, we've got some serious problems. I know I'm in tune with the issues and I never miss an opportunity to talk, but please!

On the flip side, as a white woman of a certain socio-economic status, I have the luxury of a host of positive stereotypes attached to me. I could, before the Newbie, look at issues of race and ethnicity and racism in a more academic, detached way (at least until we told people we were adopting from Ethiopia and that is a story for another day)-- understanding, and being upset, but not feeling or being in the moment in an authentic way, if you know what I mean. I've had some experiences when I've been with my dad and stepmom (interracial marriage) that prepared me, but at some point it becomes even more personal in that hey, people, you're talking about my future child (or child who is home)here!!! I don't have that luxury to be anonymous or detached now and I don't miss it. I am grateful for these opportunities to peek behind the curtain. I'll never have the true experience of being black or ethiopian in america, but these moments help me "get it" in a visceral way. There is a difference between understanding the concept and being the target of it. The difference between reading about the experiences of other transracial families and standing in a grocery store and having comments or looks directed at you and your family. I'm grateful because each time something like this happens, I can be a more understanding and better momma to my Newbie and an example to her sisters. I'm certainly not naive about the world out there and I want to arm all of my children with an understanding of how the world, rather unfortunately, works. Racism is out there and to ignore it or pretend the world is colorblind is doing our children a disservice.