Three: Can I have some chocolate milk?
Me: Sure, after you eat your dinner.
Three: Oh, dammit.
************
Three: You have peach skin, I have brown skin.
Me: Yes. I think it's beautiful.
Three: I want to have peach skin. Peach is my favorite color.
Me: Isn't orange your favorite color?
Three: Nope, peach.
Me: Really? You know, some of my favorite people are brown. Auntie R, Grandma S, .....
Three: I LIKE Peach!
Me: Ok. We're different, but I think we are both beautiful. What do you think?
Three: I have boogers and sneezes and I NEED a Kleenex!! Now!!
Me: I'm glad we had this talk.
**********
Me, in the bathroom: Three, you have to wipe front to back. No, wait, you need to make sure to wipe your bottom.
Three: But I DID.
Me: Your whole bottom!
Three: I DID! I DID IT!
Me: Not really. Wipe the WHOLE bottom!
Three, shouting: I. Wiped. MY. BUTT!
Me, exasperated: I mean you have to actually wipe your whole butt, even in your butt crack.
Silence.
Three, in a tiny voice: Butt crack?
Then hysterical laughter. She literally cried, she laughed so hard. Then...
Three: Butt crack, butt crack, butt crack...
Me: You, know, that is a potty word and we can only say it when we are in the potty.
Three: Ok.
A few hours later, I hear loud, hysterical laughter from the bathroom. Sounds like there is a party in there. Giggling and snorting and guffaws and dancing.
Then I hear Dan's voice: BUTT CRACK? Hahahahhaha!!
Three: Yes, Mommy said BUTT CRACK!!
More laughing.
Me: Grow up, all of you!
******
A story from Hoosier Girl:
So the girls were playing with their dolls and having them get married. I asked who would be the preacher, and the girls told me I should be the preacher. I started the ceremony, but stopped to ask what the girl doll's name was, and it was Dell. When I asked who the boy was, Moo replied, in an exasperated voice: It's KEN. It says so right there on his underwear!!
******
A sign on Moobear's door:
"Sleep over. No boys allowed. Except Daddy and Star Wars Boy*"
* Name has been changed to protect the name of Moobear's good friend.
*******
Family Movie Night, we're watching Rudy.
Moobear, "They keep talking about dressing for the football game, where are the dresses?!! Who is going to wear the dresses?!"
Me: If you're waiting for the dresses in this movie, you're going to wait a loooooong time.
Later, we're playing let's see if we can spot Daddy in the band in the movie. I'm convinced I see Dan.
Me: Look honey! It's you.! That is TOTALLY you.
Dan: That looks EXACTLY like me, except that he's playing trombone, and I played trumpet.
Me: Whoops. He's totally cute, though.
Dan: Nice save.
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