Motivation, No. Gum, Yes!!

(photo credit: popsop.com)

The Doodle lacks a certain motivation, a "fire in the belly" if you will.  For example, she likes soccer.  She likes to practice soccer.  She LOVES her red soccer shoes.  She goes willingly to her soccer games. She knows defense and offense and that the goalie can use her hands inside the box.  She can see where the ball is going and is among the pack of kids around the ball.  However, in the games that I watched, I never saw her actually kick the ball.  What's worse is that she galloped or even pranced to it, not always going at full speed.  The Doodle twirled her hair.  She ran to the ball and would then chill out like, "What ball? I wasn't really going to kick it, I was just getting close to it."  This drove me NUTS.  She was a bit afraid, but mostly she didn't seem to want to do it.  This year especially, she was one of the taller kids, so she really didn't have much to fear.

I am not competitive in a mean spirited sort of way, but I am a fairly motivated person.  I played competitive sports--well, volleyball and tennis and competitive badminton, if that counts (and in my mind it does).  When I want something, there are no limits to the lists and planning and effort I will put in to get what I want.  Doodle and I are alike, very much so, except for this one fact. Oh, that and the fact that she's way more girly than I am.  If there is something else I cannot stand, it is a wimpy girly-girl.  I was so fired up about this soccer thing and trying not to show it.

At first, I solved the problem by avoiding the games when I could.  We had the "give it your best" talk and the "support your team" talk.  Nothing.  Then I was talking to some folks at work.  "Bribery," they said.  "Nothing big, like a DS game, but something small, like candy or gum."  Hmmm, I thought.  Gum.  Doodle loves gum.

So two weeks ago, I told her that I would give her a stick of gum every time she touched a ball and a whole pack of gum if she scored a goal.  I even bought the gigantic size of her favorite gum at Cost*o.  I was ready.  Then, we had a rain out.

Last Saturday though, was the first outing with the gum.  I began to feel guilty.  Why I am I bribing her to do something she should want to do?  I did ask her if she liked soccer and she said "yes"(emphatically).  What to do?

Well, TEN sticks of gum later, she had a great game.  Doodle did so well her coach had her on middle forward on offense most of the time.  I've been trying to emphasize how much fun soccer is when you touch the ball.

For now, it worked.  I'm going to have to figure out if I'm comfortable with the bribe.  After the game, Moo asked if she could try soccer next year.  Was it the fun or the gum?

Why? Why?

Last night, the Newbie put three un-popped popcorn kernels up her nose. One in one nostril, two in the other. I was not prepared for this.

That is all.

Dinner Conversation, Glitter Edition

Me: Moo, I'm surprised you want to be Cleopatra this year for Halloween. Why did you make that choice?

Moo: Well, she has a beautiful dress and a sparkly necklace and jewelry.

Me: I'm just surprised that you don't want to be Darth Vader again.

Moo: He just doesn't have enough glitter. He's just not sparkly enough.

Me: We could put some sparkly glitter on his electronic pad in the front....

Moo: He just doesn't wear enough jewelry. He needs more jewels and sparkle.

Me: Oh.

Some chewing, some thrown food from the Newbie.....

Me: For one year, could we all dress up for Halloween as a family? With a theme?

Dan: That would make your mom very happy, guys. She loves a theme. Maybe we could all be characters from Clone Wars.

Doodle: I know, we can wrap the Newbie in toilet paper, and sprinkle her in green glitter like dirt! She can be a mummy and Moo and I can both be Cleopatra.

Me: That's not exactly what I had in mind.

The power of the magical unicorn

One of my favorite things about my job is that there are many professional women who are also moms. They have given me amazing advice about various kid issues and negotiating the mine field that is stay at home moms vs. working moms in elementary school.

Moobear is having a hard time now at school. Despite the fact that her first week was amazing, last week and this week she cries every morning. She tells me that she misses me at school. And that she only has 2 friends at recess and she wants 5. Sigh. I expected this from Doodle, but not my outgoing Moo.

I spoke with one of the moms at my firm on Friday, and she told me that I needed an "imp." She had a tiny pin, the "imp," that her great grandfather brought back from India during the war. She made up the legend of the imp such that it kept her great grandfather safe during the war. It, follows, then that if the imp could keep her great grandfather safe during the war, it could also help her son get through giving a speech at school.

I decided that we would have a magical unicorn. I was obsessed with unicorns as a child. I had unicorn posters and even a giant stuffed unicorn. I even received a gold unicorn pendant as a gift from my godmother, Auntie Angie.

I searched on Friday, and found a similar, if not the same, pendant. I ordered Moo her own, but today sent her off with my pendant around her neck. I lied told her that I received the unicorn as a gift when I started a new school and that it helped me with my fear. "This unicorn has magical powers. It will help you get through the day. See, it has a star on it to show how magical this is. It is very special to me, so don't lose it."

It is special to me, that much is true. I couldn't believe at the time that my Aunt had found such a beautiful pendant. I probably received it when I was 12 or 13 and I've kept it all these years. I even wear it from time to time.

I guess I'll know at the end of the day if it worked or not. If not, we'll be the mom and the sobbing daughter at drop-off wearing matching unicorn pendants.

First Day of School, and Not

Today was Moobear's first day of school. She was up at 7, dressed by 7:02 and was ready to go. We convinced her that breakfast would be a good idea and schlepped off to kindergarten. It is an understatement to say that she is excited.
Doodle, on the other hand, did not go to school today. She woke up last night with a fever. She doesn't have a stomach bug, but every time she gets sick she gets heartburn/barfs, so here's a photo of her this morning with her barf bowl. It occurs to me that this isn't our bowl. Sorry Auntie Angie! I understand if you don't want it back.

A great trip to the Dells and my bully

This weekend we joined two other families from our Ethiopia travel group at the Dells. The weekend started off with a bang--a late start, traffic near Janesville, and......Dan forgot to pack the bag with my stuff and the Newbie's stuff in it. While he suggests that we should split the blame 50-50, I disagree. He was the one packing the car, he saw our bag--and the kicker--he's forgotten my bag before. Thankfully there was a very nice outlet mall there and I got everything I needed, including a mom-skirted swimsuit. I am happy to report I took the high road and didn't make a big deal about it, except here on the blog. I didn't want to ruin our weekend by whining. The one issue was that I didn't have my glasses, so once my contacts were out, Dan or one of the girls had to lead me to bed-- I am that blind without corrective lenses. In the morning, they had to hand me the contact case since I couldn't even see it on the nightstand!

I can't describe how amazing it was to be with our travel friends again. To ask questions that I had been wondering about. To see how much the kids have grown, but still are the same. To be with people who remember how sick the Newbie was, and can appreciate her development. To share stories, some not so nice, about what it is like to bring home a baby from Ethiopia. To relax and talk and laugh and remember. The bond we have is very special and I feel blessed that we had the opportunity to spend the weekend together. I am so thankful that the other families had this great idea and chose to invite us! I'm thrilled that this will be an annual event.

All of our kids got along very well, and my big girls have another special friend now. The Newbie was in rare form-- a total ham, dancing it up, loving the water. However, she also started pinching. Not a cute pinch on the cheeks, but quite a menacing pinch and usually not provoked. We had a few naughty chairs and two time-ins. I felt like I was yelling all weekend--not my best mom moment. However, we can be flexible about some things but not causing physical pain. I was embarassed by her behavior and frustrated. Dan thinks that I was taking things to personally and that almost-two-year-olds act out. Probably the truth lies somewhere in the middle of both of our perspectives.

I turned to my adoptive family forum, and they did not disappoint. A quote from one of the moms, "All behavior is communication." I'm going to reflect on that and try and figure out what was going on. Maybe too much vacation laxity and not enough routine. Although, her targets most often were the other adopted kids. Maybe there is something there, maybe not. She did get a time out for pulling out a clump of the Doodle's hair. I put Hoosier Girl on alert, and I'm going to see if the pinching persists.

Are they all yours?

We're at the party store and all three girls are in the matchy matchy outfits the older girls picked out at Cos*co. The Newbie is scared of the balloons being inflated from the big helium cannisters. The older girls are comforting her, "It's ok sissy. It's ok." Then the dude behind the register looks at all of us and asks,"Are they all yours?" Well, duh. Instead of a lecture, I just say,"Um, yeah." with the attitude of how stupid are you really? At least he didn't ask any more questions after that.