The power of the magical unicorn

One of my favorite things about my job is that there are many professional women who are also moms. They have given me amazing advice about various kid issues and negotiating the mine field that is stay at home moms vs. working moms in elementary school.

Moobear is having a hard time now at school. Despite the fact that her first week was amazing, last week and this week she cries every morning. She tells me that she misses me at school. And that she only has 2 friends at recess and she wants 5. Sigh. I expected this from Doodle, but not my outgoing Moo.

I spoke with one of the moms at my firm on Friday, and she told me that I needed an "imp." She had a tiny pin, the "imp," that her great grandfather brought back from India during the war. She made up the legend of the imp such that it kept her great grandfather safe during the war. It, follows, then that if the imp could keep her great grandfather safe during the war, it could also help her son get through giving a speech at school.

I decided that we would have a magical unicorn. I was obsessed with unicorns as a child. I had unicorn posters and even a giant stuffed unicorn. I even received a gold unicorn pendant as a gift from my godmother, Auntie Angie.

I searched on Friday, and found a similar, if not the same, pendant. I ordered Moo her own, but today sent her off with my pendant around her neck. I lied told her that I received the unicorn as a gift when I started a new school and that it helped me with my fear. "This unicorn has magical powers. It will help you get through the day. See, it has a star on it to show how magical this is. It is very special to me, so don't lose it."

It is special to me, that much is true. I couldn't believe at the time that my Aunt had found such a beautiful pendant. I probably received it when I was 12 or 13 and I've kept it all these years. I even wear it from time to time.

I guess I'll know at the end of the day if it worked or not. If not, we'll be the mom and the sobbing daughter at drop-off wearing matching unicorn pendants.

First Day of School, and Not

Today was Moobear's first day of school. She was up at 7, dressed by 7:02 and was ready to go. We convinced her that breakfast would be a good idea and schlepped off to kindergarten. It is an understatement to say that she is excited.
Doodle, on the other hand, did not go to school today. She woke up last night with a fever. She doesn't have a stomach bug, but every time she gets sick she gets heartburn/barfs, so here's a photo of her this morning with her barf bowl. It occurs to me that this isn't our bowl. Sorry Auntie Angie! I understand if you don't want it back.

A great trip to the Dells and my bully

This weekend we joined two other families from our Ethiopia travel group at the Dells. The weekend started off with a bang--a late start, traffic near Janesville, and......Dan forgot to pack the bag with my stuff and the Newbie's stuff in it. While he suggests that we should split the blame 50-50, I disagree. He was the one packing the car, he saw our bag--and the kicker--he's forgotten my bag before. Thankfully there was a very nice outlet mall there and I got everything I needed, including a mom-skirted swimsuit. I am happy to report I took the high road and didn't make a big deal about it, except here on the blog. I didn't want to ruin our weekend by whining. The one issue was that I didn't have my glasses, so once my contacts were out, Dan or one of the girls had to lead me to bed-- I am that blind without corrective lenses. In the morning, they had to hand me the contact case since I couldn't even see it on the nightstand!

I can't describe how amazing it was to be with our travel friends again. To ask questions that I had been wondering about. To see how much the kids have grown, but still are the same. To be with people who remember how sick the Newbie was, and can appreciate her development. To share stories, some not so nice, about what it is like to bring home a baby from Ethiopia. To relax and talk and laugh and remember. The bond we have is very special and I feel blessed that we had the opportunity to spend the weekend together. I am so thankful that the other families had this great idea and chose to invite us! I'm thrilled that this will be an annual event.

All of our kids got along very well, and my big girls have another special friend now. The Newbie was in rare form-- a total ham, dancing it up, loving the water. However, she also started pinching. Not a cute pinch on the cheeks, but quite a menacing pinch and usually not provoked. We had a few naughty chairs and two time-ins. I felt like I was yelling all weekend--not my best mom moment. However, we can be flexible about some things but not causing physical pain. I was embarassed by her behavior and frustrated. Dan thinks that I was taking things to personally and that almost-two-year-olds act out. Probably the truth lies somewhere in the middle of both of our perspectives.

I turned to my adoptive family forum, and they did not disappoint. A quote from one of the moms, "All behavior is communication." I'm going to reflect on that and try and figure out what was going on. Maybe too much vacation laxity and not enough routine. Although, her targets most often were the other adopted kids. Maybe there is something there, maybe not. She did get a time out for pulling out a clump of the Doodle's hair. I put Hoosier Girl on alert, and I'm going to see if the pinching persists.

Are they all yours?

We're at the party store and all three girls are in the matchy matchy outfits the older girls picked out at Cos*co. The Newbie is scared of the balloons being inflated from the big helium cannisters. The older girls are comforting her, "It's ok sissy. It's ok." Then the dude behind the register looks at all of us and asks,"Are they all yours?" Well, duh. Instead of a lecture, I just say,"Um, yeah." with the attitude of how stupid are you really? At least he didn't ask any more questions after that.

Tooth Fairy Fail

The last time Doodle lost a tooth, the Tooth Fairy left quite a bit of loot, but forgot the tooth! See the Tooth Fairy only had a $20, a $5, and some odd change and was very sleep deprived. So Doodle got the $5 and change but she was hysterical and upset that the Tooth Fairy didn't want her tooth. We told her the tooth bag of the Tooth Fairy was full and that she'd likely swing by another night to pick up the tooth. Doodle left the Tooth Fairy a helpful note:


Translated, the note reads,"Dear Tooth Fairy, You forgot my tooth. Tooth is inside stuffed toy." The Tooth Fairy did remember to pick up the tooth and left a necklace and some change. You would think that the Tooth Fairy would get smart and keep some singles around, but frankly, we are not that swift. Or prepared.

It's not just the Tooth Fairy who's making this difficult. Remember when Doodle's tooth went down the sink? This time, she lost the tooth in the pool--the large public pool. Thanks to Hoosier Girl, who ran an efficient search and rescue mission for the tooth with some borrowed goggles, the Tooth Fairy came last night. Here's a picture of my big girl:


The Tooth Fairy should have been a big spender for this tooth, it was the giant front tooth. However, since the Tooth Fairy invested lots of money in the tooth for the first two times it was fractured, culminating with a crown the second time, she was not happy to be paying the third time around. In fact, the Tooth Fairy was a bit bitter to be holding several hundred dollars (with insurance, no less!) of a tooth in her hands. She did get past it enough to leave a couple of bucks, though and the Doodle was happy. Let's hope the Tooth Fairy can stay on her game.

She's Normal?!!

The challenge with an adopted kid, I think, is always wondering, "is this due to adoption? malnutrition? genetics? difficult birth? Just plain normal for her? Regular developmental step?"

Despite the cause, when the Newbie (boy, do I need a new name, she's been home for over a year) came home we dived into the world of Early Intervention. That meant DT once a month, OT every-other week, music therapy class and DT/PT playgroup once a week. We also had her evaluated for speech, she qualified and then was on the waiting list for a loooong time. I liked this, the therapists gave me action plans and things to do and new areas of focus. For a type-A person, it was great. In the confusion when your child first comes home and you are getting to know on another, it was great to have a plan, some structure. Now work on eye contact, the pincher grasp, hand strength, alternating weight shift, the vocabulary! Ok, it's time for therapy balls, wooden puzzles, blocks, now shape sorters!!! Hey, what about stairs?! Climb them! They also gave me hope--she WILL crawl, she WILL walk, she WILL call you by name, yes, the biting IS a developmental phase. And, sure enough, the Newbie did all the right things in all the right orders--just a bit late in some cases.

Since it has been a year, we are doing her re-evaluation. We haven't had our "official" group meeting yet, but I think OT and DT are done--she really doesn't have any needs. PT wants to see her a couple of times a month to keep an eye on her flat feet (orthodics in her future, maybe) and loose-but-getting-better ligaments.

Speech was this morning. The nice therapist diligently wrote all my concerns down, spent two hours with us and then told me that the Newbie was completely normal. What??? She wouldn't even recommend a speech therapy group. Her recommendation? That the two of us spend more time with two year olds. The Newbie needs to be with other well- spoken two year olds. I need to remember what the expectations are for normal two year old speech. It has been a while! Wow. I think the therapist thought I should have been elated and instead I was a little down.

See, I know we're good parents. And the nutritional issues are past us, and even the DT and OT stuff. The Newbie's progress is amazing! But....these services were my safety net. They picked up on things I had missed, etc. And we'll never know how much of the progress was therapy, how much was nutritious food and enough of it and how much was nurture. I know in my heart we'll be fine, but I'm a little sad that this advice and frankly, the community, is coming to an end. Just when I'm getting good at navigating Early Intervention--but that is another post for another day.

The end of all these activities will also mean the end of my relief pitcher. Too tired to read goodnight moon 47 times? It's ok, she had playgroup today! We're up for the challenge, but I'm sad to see them go.

So thank you to our therapists. I don't think we could have done it without you. I'm off to find some two year olds to play with!

Behind in life...

I was out of town for two weeks so I have vacation and mothers' day pictures to post and I owe my readers some words. Here is one of my favorite mothers' day pics to tide you over until I can spare some time to be on the computer.