Late June

I few notes about June. It was a busy end of the month and when I went to upload the new slide show, I had more than 80 photos! I cheated and a few are from May-- Auntie R and Uncle M's visit, the newbie's first dip in the pool. For June there were pics from picture day at gymnastics, Mary Poppins' birthday party, a trip to a local children's garden and a trip to American Girl.

I go back to work tomorrow. It is always too soon, no matter how long you take. It is interesting that despite a very competent husband and Mary Poppins that as a mom (or as the primary care parent) you think you can do it better. With the first two, since I was breastfeeding there was the additional link that I was responsible for the food. That isn't the case this time but it feels the same. I know that everyone will be fine, better than fine really, but there is something about being a mom that makes you believe that it would be better if you were there. I guess we are entitled to a little arrogance since we endure the exquisite bittersweet pain of raising children and sending them off into the world to be independent beings. To endure that unique mixture of pride and complete terror is to deserve a bit of swagger that comes with the responsibility.

Added to all of this is the work. I love my job but with the economy and all, I will be going back to a slightly unhappier place and that is part of it too. So today I am a little weepy but tomorrow I will slap on my makeup and grown-up clothes and schlep my computer to my office. I will remember how much I miss my work friends and hopefully be reminded that the work I do matters and is meaningful in some way.

And when I come home, the girls will be happy and healthy. Most likely they will have enjoyed the one-on-one time with Mary Poppins and later in the week with Dan. I will hurry home and begin the journey once again that has me finding the right balance between work and home.