Holy Moly We're 5!

After referrals this week, we are #5 on our agency's unofficial list! Oh, and we are #2 waiting for an infant (3 families in the top five are waiting for siblings)! What this means is that we are likely in the top 10-15 families waiting for an infant referral with our agency.

I am freaking out a bit, since the previous #6 family received a referral this week. Despite the many preparations and classes and research, there is a feeling that finally, this is becoming real. We will in fact be traveling to Africa. We will be leaving the girls and traveling half-way across the globe. There truly is a flesh and blood child (or children) out there who are meant to be a part of our family. The funny thing about this process is that sometimes it feels like it is all in your head--a theoretical possibility only; a brilliant oasis that your mind has crafted, but disappears the closer to it you get.

There may be a delay here before the referral, as children are brought to the care center and undergo medical evaluations before they can be referred. I'm trying to prepare for the worst, a referral on January 3rd, the one year anniversary of our "official wait" or later but hoping for the best. It's weird to finally be in the position where "the call" could come at any time. In my mind, the call always happens while I'm at work, so we'll see if that happens.

While this will be a joyous time for us, I grieve already for the birth family who will certainly feel a deep and emotional loss. I empathize already with the newbie who will leave every sight, smell, sound, person that they know in exchange for our American technicolor life. What a bittersweet experience this is and what an incredible honor and privilege it will be to parent this child.