Overheard

While getting ready to decorate rolls of recycled paper to make wrapping paper, Moo says,"ready, and go! Your time starts now!" and rushes off to get the stamps and stamp pads.
Doodle sighs and says, "This isn't Top Design, you know."

I am a Doofus.

One of the benefits of having a doctor husband is that he can treat you if you are sick or at least make the all or whether to go to your doctor. When Moo started getting the sinus infection, and I wasn't looking so hot, Dan recommended antibiotics. See, my sinuses are pretty poor. And bacteria like to have a party in there. But did I listen?? No. I tried to tough it out. I went to work. I used my neti pot. I wasn't feeling sooo bad. Well, those little bastards had a rave party in my head last night complete with tiny speakers pumping bass and I finally resorted to the good drugs this morning. So I'm all miserable, Moo's finally starting to look better, and I took my "I told you so" licks like a big girl.

To top it off, Mary Poppins came today and looked like death warmed over. She's sick too, and had the gall to actually barf a few times last night. I sent her home, then promptly sterilized the entire house. Let's all hope that she barfed 'cause of her migraine. Really.

Under the Weather

Sorry I've been absent for so long. We've all had the cold that never leaves. For poor Moo it's turned into a nasty sinus and ear infection. She has green stuff coming out of her tear ducts. Thank you Dr. W for calling in a script for the pink stuff. It has saved us!!!!

For Doodle, she is better but still a little punky. I sense an impending ear infection. On Thanksgiving, perhaps? I had Dan check her ears, but he says they are fine. His diagnosis rate with kids' ears is far below 100% so I might just get her checked out tomorrow if she's not better. I made a soft call and she got to stay home from preschool today with Moo.

I'm still hacking a little, but trying to avoid the antibiotics. Dan's entering the cough stage.

More later.

Great, but creepy too

My Dad (aka "Buddy") works at a sporting goods store. They have a Santa's workshop extravaganza every weekend from now 'till Christmas. You can go and pick up a card (thanks Buddy!) with a time on it and then show up and take pictures with Santa. With NO line. With a great looking, super nice Santa. It was fantastic. Oh, and the crafty Doodle even got to make a glitter pine cone ornament. Yea! A messy craft made outside the home!

However, the store is decorated in the widely popular "more taxidermy is better" style, with creepy stuffed critters peering out at you from pretty much everywhere. Including squirrels. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised to see giant stuffed real reindeer (or caribou) on either side of Santa. "Hi everyone, I brought the reindeer with me! Don't mind them, they just like to stand there and stare blankly at you! Look, there's Rudolph, an incredibly realistic looking stuffed beast!" And they say that Santa and the reindeer aren't real. Ha!

On either side of the reindeer, there were shooting ranges. Yes, shooting ranges, where kids could take a gun and shoot lasers at targets mounted on all sorts of silhouette animals. Turkeys, quail, and even something that looked remarkably like Rudolph! "Yes, kids, step right up and kill Rudolph. Don't you remember how annonying he was in that Christmas video? Perhaps your parents can have him stuffed and mounted on your bedroom wall." Oh the perfect irony. Needless to say we did not participate. No wonder the Moo Bear was afraid of the whole Santa thing.

And don't get me started on the kids cammo clothes. No matter what your social and political views are, who thinks it is a good idea to make it harder to find kids? I can hardly keep track of them when we go to crowded places or when we play hide and seek, who wants to make them LESS visible?

So thanks to Buddy for an adventurous trip. We had a great time. And thanks to Sheila for spoiling us afterward.

Preschool Dinner Party...baum chicka baum baum (insert cheesy adult movie music here)

Oh, what a wild time we had yesterday at the preschool dinner party. It's potluck, and the director of the school provides the adult beverages. You might think it would be boring, but you would be so, so wrong.

Last year, sake came out at the end of the party and we found out who the true party parents were. Last year, there were some parents who pre-partied at a local mexican restaurant. Margaritas and tequila for everyone! We need to meet the kid's teachers! This year, it was not quite as wild, but there were indeed some folks who were a bit over-served.

I had resolved to limit myself to one glass of red wine, but after sticking my foot in my mouth about water birth, I threw caution to the wind and had a whole three glasses. See, I have a friend who did the non-drug water birth. And she is a hero. However, I learned the truth about the water birth. I had envisioned a tub that was almost like a small pool, with a filter and circulating water. But no, no filter people and if you have a long labor, it's not like they drain the tub. All of the fluids and whatnot, the birth runoff if you will, sits in the tub with you. Yikes! I'm the type of girl who might shower before a bath, so I'm just not into this. Kudos to those who are.

So at the hippy preschool (and I say that with much fondness), I should have known that the guests leaned more towards the water birth than not, and totally put my foot in my mouth about it. It's ok, though, because the woman I might have offended ..... at the end of the night offered to host a party where the wives would get tipsy and then there would be a pole dancing lesson and then the husbands would pick us up. I'm NOT lying to you. There was also a mention of how this might save our husbands money by not having to hire ladies of the evening, if you get my drift. Seriously. I felt like I was in some 1970's swinging house party and not a preschool party. I don't think some of these folks get out much.

Now before you get the wrong idea, most of the party guests were well behaved, and there are some pretty cool parents there. I did learn however, that our girls are a corrupting influence. Moo Bear has been talking up the Star Wars, and some parents have now caved and let the kids watch the movie. And these are kids who have never watched anything but the local PBS channel! I heard that their kids are telling their parents that they HAVE to see Star Wars. That Moo Bear loves it and she likes Darth Vader and even though he is evil she is really nice. Sorry! At least one parent said that it was nice to see a girl like the strong character and not be a princess all of the time. Thank you! We feel a bit less like freaks now!

The Doodle has been sharing information about the good night fairy (bribe to get the girls to sleep all night in their own beds). Apparently some of the parents have tried it, but their good night fairy gifts were sub-par. Olivia has told the other kids that the REAL good night fairy brings wooden animals, not stickers. Again, our apologies.

I wonder what the preschool teachers think of the event. Is it nice to see the parents loosen up, or are they looking at us thinking, so THAT is why that kid is so weird?

So thanks for an entertaining evening preschool parents! See you next year.

And these go to ELEVEN!!!

Any Spinal Tap fans out there? No?

Well, we're now at number 11 on our agency's unofficial list. I'm not sure what that means since another parent posted on our forum that her social worker told her there are more folks off of the unofficial list than are on it, but at least we are moving!!

Woohoo!

You learn something new every day....

Like the fact that you should wear substantial underwear when undergoing an upper GI x-ray. I swear that was not on the instruction sheet.

They don't let you keep your pants on--who knew? And they make you pose in very odd positions while wearing one of those stupid gowns. Like doing a few log rolls on the table to distribute the disgusting barium you've just ingested. Very scientific. Very sexy.

Of course the radiologist was young and cute. Let's hope he doesn't know Dan or I don't run into him at one of those doctor events! He's seen more of me and my esophagus than anyone should!

The good news was that on first pass, there were no "gross abnormalities." Well, we knew that already. Only subtle and snarky abnormalities here!

Edited to add: Official results were negative. Or to use a fancy radiology term "unremarkable." No ulcers, no hiatal hernia, no strictures of the esophagus, nothing. So, basically, I've been giving myself heartburn from my various vices. Nice.