Being a doctor is so glamorous!--Warning, grossness

Dan (aka Doogie Howser-- he tires of the joke, but can't you see the resemblance?) and I have a little game we like to play called, "Who had the worse day?" We often commute from work together and have a bit of alone time in the car before we get home. Last week, he might have had one of the worst days of all time.

Dan was on service at the hospital. He was leading a team of residents, interns (a fancy word for first year residents) and students. He was on rounds and was in a patient's room with his team and perhaps a nurse or two. This is where he is supposed to look all smarty pants and stuff (and he is normally, quite brilliant. Who else do you know who got a perfect score on his medical boards? It's enough to make me vomit, and I hate vomit). So his patient is trying to leave against medical advice, and has given the nurses and staff a hard time, but Dan needs to get him to stay for his (the patient's) own good. Things get heated between Dan and the patient, Dan loses his cool and shouts, "Sir, you cannot leave the hospital! You have a life threatening PENIS! . . . infection."

Well, not exactly. But the guy actually had flesh eating bacteria of Big Jim and the Twins. The urologists had saved the twig, but sadly one of the berries was gone. The other berry wasn't looking too hot either, ergo the IV antibiotics, etc. He had meat, but only one sad looking potato (sorry, I just couldn't help myself).

Don't believe me? It's called Fournier's Gangrene. For those who can stand some gore, here's a picture of a man with the condition- and it is gross. You are warned. This flesh eating bacteria of the private bits can happen to women, but most often affects men. Coincidence? I think not.

I asked Dan how common this condition was, and he's saved a few swords from this very fate. He's also saved countless others from various STDs and infections. In fact, he has clinic hours on Fridays, the last appointments for the week, and he tells me that often that day is STD clinic. People looking to get some antibiotics so they can get it on over the weekend. Yikes! And they say being a doctor is glamorous.